How to Work Out if You are Vocationally Competent Enough for Marriage

Are you vocationally competent?

In the eyes of most people, this question will apply mainly to the man. In our culture, the husband is expected to earn the living for himself, his wife, and their children. At one time it was believed that any man "worth his salt" could provide adequately for his family. Poverty in a family in which there was an able-bodied husband was regarded as the result of shiftlessness and laziness. We now know better. Due to circumstances beyond the control of any individual, such as bad business conditions and depressions, able and competent men may be unable to secure employment. This pos­sibility is a risk which anyone who marries must be willing to take. The couple should demand of the prospective hus­band only that he should be able to hold down a suitable job, if one is to be had. Exceptions to this rule can safely be made, also, for those who are in training, including students, even though at the time of marriage they are not yet earning a living.

The idea of what constitutes a suitable living will vary with the individual. Florence was brought up in a fairly well-to-do family. She has been used to having almost anything she wanted without question. Her boy friend, Jeffrey, is a fine man but without especial abilities or ambitions. He will make a good, steady husband, and will earn enough to supply a family modestly. He will never be able to earn the kind of money which Florence will demand. Her father could give Jeffrey a well-paying position in the firm. But he could not do the work satisfactorily. He would either have to live on a kind of charity, or face frustration and defeat. They were both wise in seeing the situation and so calling the whole thing off. Tom, another friend, could earn what Florence requires. But he wants to become a college professor, and would not be happy doing anything else. So neither of them will let things go too far. They may be genuinely fond of each other, even to the point of love, but they both understand that marriage to each other is not in the picture.

Do not think of vocational competence as a matter only for the husband. The wife, too, has a vocation. Her job, if well done, may require quite as much as that of her husband. Household management, shopping efficiently, planning de­sirable menus, cooking well and providing for the needs of an entire family on limited amounts of money require voca­tional competence. The proper raising of children, which is usually her major responsibility, requires even more ade­quacy, as we shall later consider.

There is yet another aspect of her vocational situation. In an increasing number of households the wives work outside the home to help with the family income. Furthermore, the young mother should be able, in case of the death of her husband, to earn a living for both herself and her children. In most cases the amount of insurance will not be more than enough to keep the family going until she can adjust herself and find suitable employment. Every young person, male or female, married or single, should be able to earn a living.

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