The Love By Design Book Ezine

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Sunday, May 14, 2006

TOP 5 Qualities of Men or Women That People REALLY Adore!

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There are many articles available today about what are the perfect attributes to have in order for a man or a woman to adore you or be attracted to you. The following is our Top Five List of qualities or attributes that, if you or your partner have, will guarantee you to have a healthy, balanced relationship as well as being an attractive person both inside and out.

1) BALANCED: Balanced can mean many things. For the purposes of our article, we mean that you and your partner have a good sense of boundaries, and that you and your partner are a whole person and have a healthy lifestyle.

More specifically, you and your partner know how to maintain their own boundaries and respect the boundaries of their partner. They understand the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness.

It is important that you or your partner considers themself already a whole person; that you or your partner doesn’t need someone to fill themselves up or complete them in order to be a complete person. They need to have the belief system that a partner is there to enhance and support their natural, authentic expression, but is not needed to complete who they are.

A healthy balance in their lifestyle is also important, such as not working themselves too much, drinking or eating too much, or doing anything in excess.

2) CONFIDENT: You or your partner are self-confident and have high self‑esteem. You are confident that you can handle new things, even if you have never done it before, or if you may not get it right the first time around. You or your partner has an internal point of reference; you do not need to have reassurance and compliments from others to be confident. At the same time, you are confident enough to accept compliments or criticism, and are not afraid to give compliments to other people.

3) INDEPENDENT: You can be a functional person without relying on another person and you are not codependent.

Codependency is a condition that results from dysfunctional patterns based on unhealthy relationships. These dysfunctional patterns are socially learned patterns of thinking, feeling and acting which result in dependency on other people, places, organizations, things and events to create approval, appreciation, self-worth and love to achieve a sense of safety, self-esteem, purpose and identity.

4) RELATIONSHIP MASTERY SKILLS: You or your partner knows how to relate in a relationship. You or your partner know important skills like communication skills, conflict resolution and negotiation techniques.

5) EMOTIONAL OPENNESS: You and your partner are able to be emotionally open and honest, being able to express your opinions and be comfortable enough to allow and support your partner’s emotional openness as well.

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