What Is A Highest And Best Relationship?

By Melody Chase


At our centre we believe that there is a highest and best partner out there who will align with your areas of compatibility and level of relationship mastery, and as well will unconditionally love you just as you are in the present moment.

In this highest and best relationship both parties are easily and effortlessly able to support and allow the other person to be a full expression of themselves and their soul.

In our relationship system there are 37-40 areas of compatibility. The more areas of compatibility one has in common, the more energetic and expansive the relationship will be.

People have asked “What is Relationship Mastery and why do I have to increase my level of Relationship Mastery and Consciousness.

Relationship Mastery refers to the mindset as well as the tools and skills that a person develops to be able to relate to another in a Relationship. These include abilities and acquired talents such as communication, conflict resolution techniques and what we call the 7 Principles of Relationship Success.

Relationship mastery may also be needed to help a gap in compatibility come closer together. So even if you find you and your partner have some issues around compatibility but still want to stay together a greater Relationship Consciousness and Mastery will help create a good Relationship.

Another important factor about relationship mastery is each partner’s willingness to learn relationship mastery skills. If some one or both partners are not keen on learning and training that will impede ones success, however one partner can do significant evolution that will impact the Relationship for both.

If a couple has low compatibility and poor relationship mastery skills then their relationship will have high levels of toxicity and deficiencies. A Relationship Toxicity is a bad love habit. A Relationship Deficiency is lack of a relationship skill, mindset or attitude.

A deficiency is also a need or want that you are not getting in a relationship.

So a partner cause of their Relationship Deficiency can create a deficiency for their partner. For example if your partner is a poor communicator and lacks support skills you will feel empty and deficient cause you are craving emotional support , communication and validation.


The farther apart in compatibilities and relationship mastery, the lower the chances of a couple having a successful, fulfilling relationship where one can be a full expression of oneself.

Therefore at the centre we also believe that a square peg doesn’t need to be forced into a round hole. This is because we have a different paradigm than most of society.

We teach and believe that there is an abundant universe and everyone can, and will find someone that is highest and best for them. It’ s a matter of becoming clear and use laws of attraction to draw what best for you in.

You do not have to settle out of fear of never finding anyone, societal pressures or fear of hurting their present partner.

In regards to hurting your present partner, if you are not with your highest and partner you will cause more hurt to your partner as well as yourself because of the continuous build up of toxicities and deficiencies. As well, you will both block each others from being full expressions of oneself. This blockage effects all areas of your life including health, wealth, and your dharmic path.

For example in my first marriage to Travis, we were teenage sweethearts, then got married in our early 20s. We were not compatible in many areas and because we has low relationship mastery skills, for 6 years we lived in quiet desperation, neither one of us understanding just how unfulfilling our relationship and our lives were.

The energetics of this situation impacted many other areas of our lives as well.

We had dead end jobs that seemed to us that we couldn’t escape, we had constant financial problems, sex problems, and we kept putting off having children because we felt like we wouldn’t be able to provide for them.

Travis became addicted to videogames and started smoking pot. I was very lonely and empty because Travis had different value centre than I. Travis was friend and family centred meaning that he likes to focus his energy and time on friends and his relatives. I was relationship centred, meaning that I would rather spend one on one time with Travis.

We also had different communication modes, so I didn’t receive love from him in my communication modes, even though he would be trying to give love to me through his communication modes.

When I finally came into consciousness that we were not in our highest and best relationship with one another and that the relationship mastery wouldn’t be enough to close the gaps in our incompatibility, I was still really hesitant about leaving him/and or telling him.

He was at a particularly low point in his life and was suffering from low self esteem. I was afraid that I would really hurt him, kicking him while he was down and I was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to recover.

Well, he was upset of course at first. However, he was able to recover. Today, he is remarried, now to his soulmate, he has renovated his home, he has a new high paying job, is out of financial debt and I bet I’ll be hearing any time now that he’ll be having a little family.

For me, I was able to find my dharma (which I never thought I was ever going to find) which happened literally because of leaving Travis, and I have found my highest and best relationship and soulmate.

Had I not made the decision to allow both Travis and I to let go and find our highest and best relationship, we would have been blocking each other from our dharma and our true soulmates from entering into our lives.

So in any relationship there are three decisions to make, once you are aware of where you stand in regards to compatibility and relationship mastery in your relationship.


Stay and Accept

There are positive and negative aspects of staying and accepting even if you know the relationship is not in yours or your partner’s highest and best interest.

On the negative side, as individuals you can only expand to a certain point. Then, from there you cannot be a full expression of yourself because you are not being authentic and you are not in an environment that is going to support yourself being yourself, the same for your partner.

At least one benefit of staying and accepting is that at least you are no longer in resistance to who your partner is and the environment that you find yourself in.

Also, you can love your partner without trying to force them to change and have the opportunity to appreciate them just as they are. Staying and accepting also saves you a lot of energy that could be wasted hoping and trying to get them to change, you can except that different people have different games and rhythms. Is staying and accepting healthy? It can be healthy in the sense that you are no longer in resistance and stress to your reality, but it is not healthy in the sense that it is not in the highest and best for yourself.

Attempt to Change

Most people have their own rhythms, differences and limitations. Attempting to change can be healthy when skills and new abilities are added on to their personalities. For example, a non-auditory person can learn communication techniques, a dominant person can learn conflict resolutions skills, as could an amiable person learn conflict resolution and assertiveness techniques.

It is unhealthy when how you are attempting to change the other person is taking something away or their authenticity is being denied or disowned. As the person trying to change the other person, you will also experience a lot of stress resisting how the other person is authentically, especially if the other person doesn’t want to change, and you want them to even for the sake of the relationship.

If you find yourself using control dramas, (i.e. getting really angry, arguing, and crying) even subtle ones all time, then you know there is too much that you are trying to change in the person. It is also important to note, that even if you managed to get your way and have them change in the way you want them to, if they are being inauthentic every change you force them to make damages them. It is like your partner is a flower that you like to look at and enjoy their scent. However, every time you force them to change, you are stomping on the flower. In the end, you can not enjoy your flower anymore, because the flower is dead.

Letting Them Go

The unhealthy aspects of letting your partner go are temporary and the more you are aware of what is going on the quicker you, your partner, friends and family can heal.

When you know the relationship is not the highest and best for either of you, yet you are not letting them go, you are basing your decision to stay on fear.

Basing your decision on fear is far unhealthier than temporary transition stage of parting ways. Fear of disrupting the children, fear of disrupting the family, fear of disrupting the friends, fear of change, fear of losing your belongings, your home, your way of life, your happy memories, fear of failure, fear of disappointment, fear of hurting your partner, fear of the unknown, fear of financial loss, fear of social standing in the community. That’s a lot of fear.

What happens if you approach this from a self love perspective for a moment? If you were a Mom and your soul job was to love yourself, what your Mom self want you to do? Would you want yourself to be happy? Do you want yourself to be a full expression of yourself? Would your Mom self want you to be authentic? Would your Mom self want to support your purpose? Would you Mom self want you to be healthy? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, then as a person who loves themselves, then you would then be able to make a decision based on love, instead of fear.

From there, although I can’t prove it, until you try it, everything will fall into its natural place. Just as what happened with Travis and I, our transitions may have been a little rocky, because we were afraid, but when we did go through with letting our partners go, everyone benefited.

When I was making my decision to leave Travis, I would have to admit, a lot was based on the knowledge that I wasn’t the highest and best for him, and on the faith that he was going to be o.k., but there must have been some self-love in there too, because at the time, I was seeing myself as a person who needed someone like myself to make a decision in love.

If you want more information on whether you should stay or go take a look at my book “Love by Design”! You can attract your true love and find your soulmate in life!
Warm Regards

Melody Chase
Relationshipcentre@shaw.ca