Making A Long Distance Relationship Work – Part 2

In Part 1 of our 5 part series on "How To Make Your Long Distance Relationship Work" we talked about "What Does a Long-Distance Relationship Mean To Both of You?

Now for Part 2 let's discuss the topic of "Are all your needs being met in the relationship?"

2) Are All Your Needs Being Met In The Relationship?

In our Love by Design book (http://wwwlovebydesignbook.com) and our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Home Study Program (http://www.counsellorinabox.com) we talk about values. Values can be described as something that is important to you. It is something that you are willing to focus on and put attention and time into in order to maintain.

Our ideas and beliefs about the relative worth of things in our lives are called values. They are not facts, but choices we have made as we matured. When our actions match our values, we experience emotional balance. When they don’t match, we feel frustrated and experience emotional imbalance.

Our values play an integral part in determining the compatibility and success of our relationships. Values are the glue that holds people together. Lack of compatible values can be the undoing of a relationship.

So for example, if both you and the partner you are having a long distance relationship with have “business” or “work-centred” values (which means both of you will put your energy and focus first and foremost into your work or careers over any other value), then both of you will be happy and fulfilled having a long-distance relationship since what you value most is independent of each other and does not interfere, take away from or need to be attended to in your relationship.

As well if you are “friendship-centred” meaning your friends come front and centre and it is what you focus on the majority of the time then this works well because not only is there no powerstruggles going on (having to split time between your partner and your friends) you also have a built-in support system for the times when you are lonely and missing your partner and/or need people to talk to about your long-distance relationship.

However, if one or both you and your partner are “relationship-centred” which means being in a relationship with each other is where you focus your energy and attention on over all other values and you crave being together one-on-one every day first and foremost over all other values - you may find a long-distance relationship unfulfilling because it is impossible to spend a great deal of time together.

Another example of how unfulfilled values can cause deficiency and toxicity in your relationship is that if you or the person you are having an exclusive long-distance relationship with has a high sex drive and sex is a high value. (which is just as an important value as any other and is often a hidden powerstruggle in relationships because the couple does not acknowledge the importance of sex in their relationship for one or both partners).

If you are in an exclusive long-distance relationship and you or your partner have a high sex drive and sex is a high value and/or if one or both of you are relationship-centred the reality of the situation is that the two of you have to work trips into your schedule so you can physically get together whenever possible.

Then in the meantime between visits, the both of you have to come up with some creative ideas to keep the passion, spark and sense of connection flowing in the relationship.

In Part 3 of our series we have a bunch of suggestions on how to keep the connection, passion and communication going for those stretches between physical visits by tapping into your Communication Modes or Love Strategies so make sure to come back to read Part 3 " Do Both Of Your Feel Loved?

Warm Regards

Melody Chase
Centre For Life Management
http://www.trueloveondemand.com
http://www.lovebydesignbook.com
http://www.counsellorinabox.com
http://www.drrobbyonline.com
Email: relationshipcentre@shaw.ca
(204) 475-0323

If you are looking for more suggestions on how to have a successful Long-Distance Relationship – check-out our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Home Study Program at http://www.counsellorinabox.com

Real-life, Practical, Proven Solutions, Support and Resources To Help You Create The Relationship of Your Dreams!