Melody Chase's Relationship Advice Video Debut

Hi Everyone,

Happy New Year!

I am Happy To Announce My Relationship Advice Video Debut and that I will be creating a Relationship Advice Series!

Warm Regards,

Melody Chase




P.S. The Websites I mention in the Video are:

Counsellor in a Box Home Relationship Rescue and Repair Home Study Program: http://www.counsellorinabox.com

How To Find Out If You Are With Your Soul-mate: The Love By Design System: http://www.lovebydesignbook.com

Melody Chase's Relationship and Self-Growth Information HQ Blog: http://www.melodychasesrelationshipinfo.wordpress.com

Life Quest Publishing: http://www.lifequestpublishing.com

The Untold Story of Being a Highly Sensitive Person and Your Relationship

In our Love By Design Book and in our Love By Design Top 10 Ten Compatibilities For Relationship Success Free E-course (http://www.lovebydesignbook.com) one of the Top Ten Compatibilities that we talk about is Capacity.

Specifically, do you and your partner have the capacity - mentally, emotionally and physically to be in a relationship?

In our Love By Design Book and in our Love By Design E-course we give some examples of Capacity such as being emotionally, mentally or physically burn-out or if you and/or your partner have a chronic illness how this can effect the synergy and functionality of your relationship.

One area that we touched on but didn’t go into very much detail about was if you and/or your partner is a Highly Sensitive Person.

According Dr. Elaine N. Aron, PhD’s book “The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You." (Published by Broadway Books, 1997), being a Highly Sensitive Person “means your nervous system is more sensitive to subtleties. Your sight, hearing and sense of smell are not necessarily keener (although it may be) but your brain processes information and reflects on it more deeply.”

Therefore a Highly Sensitive Person is someone who is sensitive or more finely tuned to different forms of energy such as light, sound, temperature, smells, touch and even emotions.

As a Highly Sensitive Person, I have learned that being Highly Sensitive is a blessing, however it took me a while to discover the Positivities and learn how to work with or along side my abilities versus seeing my sensitivities as an up hill battle that was more of a hindrance than a benefit.

Having my old “my sensitivities are an uphill battle” mindset definitely did not help me when I was married to someone who was not as Highly Sensitive as me because:

1) I didn’t know enough and didn’t take the time to try to explain what I was all about so my partner would understand why I had to do things to the beat of my own drum all the time and…

2) My negative attitude towards myself created situations where I was my own worst enemy – afterall if I don’t have my own back and I am not kind, supportive and empathetic towards myself how is anyone else suppose to?

When I was married to my 1^st husband, he was very active and very social and could go 24/7 – I was never able to keep up with him because on top of the normal impact of being Highly Sensitive I did not how to properly take care of myself and even if I did my low level of self-love because of what I used to think was a “disability” (being so sensitive all the time) there was no way I would validate or allow myself to follow my energy and take care of myself properly.

So the end result for me was that I had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and if I would stay still for longer than 45 minutes at a time I’d fall asleep.

Over time my ex-husband and I grew further and further apart – he’d spend more and more time with family and friends - he was family and friend centred to begin with but he would have to rely on others even more because I just wasn’t up to full capacity to fulfilling his need for constant socializing and activity.

Even though he never expressed his feelings, I’m sure he felt abandoned and lonely as well.

At times, during our marriage I was working a full-time and a part time job so by the end of the day attempting to cook wasn't happening and activities of daily living like cleaning and keeping organized would suffer as well.

So eventually, combined with the rest of our incompatibilities we did get divorced. He carried on and is now remarried and has a child.

Since then I have found Dr. Robby who is Highly Sensitive like myself but even for us we had to adapt to having to follow our own unique energy and rhythms of life to function at our highest and best.

If we didn’t know what we know today, even as two Highly Sensitive People we would have had a lot of Powerstruggles to contend with.

So if there is anything that I would like to get across in this article is the importance of finding out if you and/or your partner is Highly Sensitive and from there do research to see how wonderful, positive and productive your life together can be when you understand your uniqueness and unconditionally love, support, and honour how you and/or your partner need to take care of yourselves.

Just as important too - if you or your partner is Highly Sensitive take the time to ensure that yours and your partner’s perception of being Highly Sensitive is one of joy and celebration of knowing about the amazing gifts that you have been given to share with the world!

So the following are some wonderful resources to find out more about being Highly Sensitive:

“The Highly Sensitive Person. How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You." (Published by Broadway Books,1997) by Dr. Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D

"The Highly Sensitive Person In Love" (Published By Broadway Books, 2000) By Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D

For more information on both of these books see Dr. Elaine N. Aaron’s Website @ http://www.hsperson.com

The following link is to an article from a wonderful newsletter called “The Care & Feeding of Empaths & Highly Sensitive Persons” Newsletter. The article itself is called “What Are Self-Coaching Skills & Why Do Sensitive’s Need Them?” by Carolyn Wilson-Elliot.

Even though I just recently read the article, the article really helped me to empower my abilities as a Highly Sensitive Person – once you read it you’ll know and get a sense of what I mean – here is the link:

http://quantumspirit.net/Empaths/Home/WhatareSelf-CoachingSkills/index.cfm

As well, there are many, many people out there who will encourage you and support you.

My article today was inspired after talking to a wonderful person I know on Twitter who’s Twitter Account name is @RevMeKila

If you go to my @ChannelofLight Account (my @MelodyChase Account as well) on Twitter and check out the Profiles of people that I follow you will see an amazing support network of Highly Sensitive People are out there - so go by your feelings and energy if you are drawn to follow any of these amazing people!

Warm Regards

Melody Chase

Want 2 Save Your Relationship? We have a free e-course, free video tutorials & free tips for you @ http://www.counsellorinabox.com/FreeVideos.html

Unavailability: The Silent Relationship Enemy – Part Two

Welcome back for Part Two of our Two Part series on Unavailability.

In Part One I talked about the 6 areas of availability in a relationship that a couple can be unavailable in.

Now for Part Two let’s discuss what to do now since you know that there is an issue of unavailability.

Part Two – Now What?

I have created the following 3 steps or suggestions on how to deal with issues of unavailability in your relationship.

1) Acknowledge That You or Your Partner/Love Interest is Unavailable

The first step is to see the elephant sitting in the middle of the room for what it is – you and/or your partner is unavailable in one or more ways of being unavailable.

This will give you a base to work with in order to deal with you issue which is now officially real versus being ignored or invisible.

2) Acknowledge The Possibility That You May Not Be Able To Get Your Needs Met With This Partner/Love Interest:

It is important to acknowledge that you may not be able to get your needs met with your partner/love interest if you choose to stay in the relationship with him/her and release all expectations in the relationship.

It is like the Serenity Prayer by Elizabeth Sifton "God, Give us the grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, And the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other."

3) Develop a Plan To Bridge The Incompatibility Gaps:

In both our Love By Design (http://www.lovebydesignbook.com ) and Counsellor in a Box Relationship Home Study Program (http://www.counsellorinabox.com )

We talk about negotiation and creative solutions.

This is what is going to have to happen if you choose to stay in a relationship with an unavailable person.

Yes you can choose to accept your situation for what it is but keep in mind that you will not be getting your needs met so you will have to be at peace with this.

You can also leave the relationship if you and your partner/love interest chooses not to negotiate or come up with creative solutions.

However if you have chosen to negotiate and/or use creative solutions you will have to learn how to negotiate in ways that work best for the both of you since both of you are unique.

Even more important both you and your partner/love interest need to have an open mind and think outside of the box to come up with creative solutions that are win/win and are highest and best for both of you.

Your power lies in your intention for what is highest and best for all versus logic so be open to all possibilities when it comes to creative solutions and/or negotiations and allow your creative minds to flow and your imagination play in harmony together.

If you need further advice on negotiation and creative solutions we have extensive information and resources in our Counsellor in a Box Home Study Relationship Program @ http://www.counsellorinabox.com

Wishing You All The Best,

Melody Chase


Do You Want to Save, Improve or Repair Your Relationship? We Have a Free 7 part E-Course, Free Video Tutorials & Free Tips For You ! Visit us @ http://www.counsellorinabox.com/FreeVideos.html

Unavailability: The Silent Relationship Enemy – Part One

We often have clients who come in to see us for relationship advice and counselling because their partner/ love interest appears to be into them, attracted and/or in love with them yet is never available. Our clients always seem to be fighting for their partner/love interest’s time and attention.

If you are one of these baffled people like these clients, I have created the following two part article to assist you in two areas in particular.

In the 1^st area or Part 1 of our series I will list the 6 types of availability so you can see which area or areas that you or your partner may not be available in and in Part 2 I will give you some suggestions as to what to do about your situation now since you are aware that there is in fact an issue of unavailability going on in your relationship.

Part One: 6 Types of Availability

At our Centre For Life Management and in our Love By Design Book (http://www.lovebydesignbook.com ) we talk about 6 types of Availability in a relationship.

Knowing what they are will help you to understand what they are and accept that they are real as well as at a bare minimum acknowledge that there is an issue that needs to be addressed in your relationship.

The 6 types of availability in a relationship are as follows: (I will include examples of “unavailability” for each of them)

1) Geographic – Your partner/love interest lives in a different city, town, location etc.

2) Social – Your partner/love interest is married or dating or living with someone else

3) Emotional – Your partner/love interest is shut down and can't deal with situations, emotions and affection

4) Physical – Your partner/love interest is not affectionate or he/she cannot do anything or go out because of illness or other reasons

5) Sexual - Your partner/love interest can't or won’t have sex with you

6) Mentally – Your partner/love interest is not on the same page - no form of communication connects with him/her

As I mentioned, in Part Two we will be discussing what to do now since you are aware of yours and your partner’s unavailability.

Warm Regards,

Melody Chase

Do You Want to Save, Improve or Repair Your Relationship? We Have a Free 7 part E-Course, Free Video Tutorials & Free Tips For You! Visit us @ http://www.counsellorinabox.com/FreeVideos.html

Power Struggle Quiz – Are You Aware Of What Is Really Eating Away At Your Relationship?

In many of my books and articles I talk about hidden powerstruggles in relationships and how if you are not aware of the hidden powerstruggles that they will eat away at your relationship and cause a build up of anger, frustration and resentment for both you and your partner.

So I created this Power Struggle Quiz to help bring to light some of the common powerstruggles of relationships that couples often have.

These power struggles often occur because both partners don’t realize that they are both unique individuals so they assume that what they like or want would be the same as their partner therefore they would never have thought to ask their partner whether they may have different likes, needs or views.

If you take the quiz and find out that you and your partner do have powerstruggles that were hidden, this does not mean that you are incompatible with each other, it just means that now that you are aware of what is really going on you can set to work at creating negotiations and creative solutions to assure that everyone gets their needs met without the conflict of the hidden powerstruggles.

At the bare minimum you will at least be aware of what is causing the powerstruggle so you can prepare yourself and choose healthier options other than reacting with anger or frustration or carrying out control dramas to try and get your needs met.

To take the quiz, have you and your partner take the quiz separately then compare notes and see how much (if any) hidden powerstruggles (answers that you and your partner do not match up on).

You can write your answers on a piece a paper or print the quiz out.

1) What does a relationship mean to you? (Circle as many as apply)

a) Relationships are about Survival: Two people banding together and pooling resources to get through life.
b) Relationships are about Learning and Expansion: People who believe in this definition believe that a relationship is an opportunity to expand themselves and their consciousness.
c) Safety and Security: People with this mindset believe that a relationship is a place of refuge, a place to feel safe and protected from the rest of the world.
d) Relationships are for Emotional Support: People who believe in this definition believe that a relationship is a place to feel supported and express one’s feelings and experiences.

2) How Do You Feel Cared For By Your Partner? (Circle all that apply)

a) When your partner is attentive towards you.
b) When your partner does things and activities with you.
c) When your partner does things for you when asked.
d) When your partner does things for you on his/her own initiative without you asking.
e) When your partner talks with you.
f) When your partner understands you.
g) When your partner reads your mind.
h) When you partner is physically affectionate towards you.
i) When your partner protects you/has your back.
j) When your partner compliments you.
k) When you partner speaks kindly towards you.
l) When your partner buys things for you.
m) When your partner makes you things i.e. builds you something or cooks or bakes.
n) When your partner emotionally supports you.
o) When your partner validates you in any area i.e. emotions, thinking, beliefs, perceptions etc.
p) When your partner respects your space and independence.
q) When your partner respects your values i.e. family centred, work centred, friend centred etc (this includes being relationship-centred too).
r) When your partner loves you unconditionally – loves you for being you.

3) Is there a Captain of the Ship? Who Makes The Final Decisions in Your Relationship?

a) You in charge
b) Your partner in charge
c) Both of you equally in charge
d) Neither of you are in charge

4) If you are equally in charge, does that mean … (you can skip this question if it doesn’t apply)

a) All final decisions are decided equality between the two you always.
b) Certain situations your partner can override you and make the final decision
c) Certain situations you can override your partner and make the final decision.

5) What does a ‘relaxing evening’ at home the majority of the time mean to you regardless of what your partner is doing or wants to do? (You can pick more than one, but keep in mind what you would like to do MOST OFTEN)

a) Snuggle on the couch watching t.v. together with your partner.
b) Some alone time (without your partner or kids) whether that is watching t.v., taking a nap, going on the computer, tinkering in the garage, playing a video game, doing a hobby or chore, reading a book, cooking or baking alone etc.
c) Doing chores together with your partner i.e. cleaning up the garage together, vacuuming together, tending the garden together, cooking together, doing dishes together etc.
d) Playing a board game, reading or playing videogames or playing cards together with your partner.
e) Going for a walk or drive together, going out for dinner, to a movie, sports game etc together (just the two of you).
f) Going for a walk or drive, dinner, a movie, sports game etc with you kids, relatives, friends and your partner all together.
g) Going for a walk or drive, dinner, a movie, sports game etc with you kids, relatives, friends without your partner.
h) Sitting and chatting together with your partner.
i) Chatting with other people other than your partner i.e. with kids, parents, siblings or friends.
j) Sitting on the porch or in the yard watching the sunrise or set, watching the stars, nature or the weather with your partner only.
k) Sitting on the porch or in the yard watching the sunrise or set, watching the stars, nature or the weather by yourself without your partner.
l) Sitting on the porch or in the yard watching the sunrise or set, watching the stars, nature or the weather with others like kids, relatives and friends along with your partner.
m) Planning the future and setting goals together with your partner.
n) Planning the future and setting goals by yourself without your partner.

If your partner is not interested in doing the quiz when you are doing yours, be creative such as when your partner isn’t busy ask for his/her answers to the quiz verbally, send the quiz to him/her via email or leave the quiz with him/her to answer when he/she feels like it and you will compare and total the answers yourself.

As long as you have the answers you, yourself can take the next step of coming up with creative negotiations and solutions to yours and your partner’s powerstruggles and incompatibilities and at the very least you have a heads-up and awareness of the potential of powerstruggles so you have choice as to how you choose to act or react since in the big picture it takes two to tango.

For more information on Hidden Powerstruggles, Creative Negotiation and Creative Solutions for Relationship Success check-out our Counsellor in a Box Home Study Relationship Program @ http://www.counsellorinabox.com

Warm Regards,

Melody Chase

Want 2 Save, Improve or Repair Your Relationship? We have a free 7 part e-course, free video tutorials & free tips for you ! Visit us @ http://www.counsellorinabox.com/FreeVideos.html

Making A Long Distance Relationship Work – Part 5

Welcome To part 5 of our 5 part series on “Making a Long Distance Relationship Work”

In Part 4 I talked about whether both of you have support systems. Now for the last part of our series let’s talk about whether both of you are interested in learning Relationship Mastery or Relationship Success Skills.

Part 5 - Are You Both Interested In Learning Relationship Mastery or Relationship Success Skills?

In our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Home Study Course (http://www.counsellorinabox.com ), we talk about what we call “Ad-ons”, Mini-Counselling Techniques, General Relationship Knowledge, Relationship Success or Relationship Mastery Skills.

What all of these terms are and what they are used for are that they are skills and techniques that are designed to enhance and make the best out of a couple’s situation in areas where they are not compatible.

Rather than people having to “Change” when they are not 100% compatible, these Relationship Mastery or Relationship Skills are techniques that people can “Ad-On” to themselves that will immensely help them “relate” in their relationship.

Some examples of these Skills or Techniques include Communication Techniques, Conflict Resolution Techniques, Negotiation Techniques, learning how to talk in each other’s Communication Modes and working along with one of the most important things to remember about relationships – that relationships are a mutual fulfillment of needs and you need to know what your partner needs in order to give your partner what he/she wants in the way he/she wants it (in ways that does not take away yourself or cause you to be inauthentic of course)

Even with couples who are highly compatible, if they have developed or learned any dysfunctional ways of relating to one another Relationship Mastery Skills and Techniques will be needed to override what they have learned.

Last but not least if members of a couple have unresolved childhood wounds that filter their perception of reality and that cause them to make decisions based on past behaviour and the past in general - on top of healing these wounds (which may or may take time) there are Relationship Mastery Skills that are needed to help keep the couple focused and making decisions based on their present reality.

An example of Relationship Mastery Skills that would help keep the couple focused would be using Communication Techniques that make sure that the person doing the talking is taking ownership of his/her own feelings and perceptions using “I feel” statements and statements such as “In My Opinion” or ‘In my perception of the situation...”

Relationship Mastery Skills may also be needed to “referee” the “triggers” or emotional outbursts that are often the result of childhood wounds being activated.

An example of a Relationship Mastery Skill that helps to prevent or referee a trigger is by being in the mindset of what we call at the Centre the L.A.N.A. Mindset (Love, Acceptance, Non-Resistance, Allowance) before entering into a conversation with you partner to avoid negative emotions that may be triggered for both the person talking and the person listening.

So you may be thinking that logically if you are in a Long Distance Relationship you won’t need to learn and use Relationship Mastery Skills because you are not with each other in continuous communication and since you are not living together what kind of negotiation would the two of you possibly need to attend to?

The reality is that it is even more important to have Relationship Mastery Skills when you are in a Long Distance Relationship because as long as you are in a relationship regardless of how far away – you still need to relate to each other.

Plus not only are the two you susceptible to the normal communication traps of individual perception, interpretation, definitions and filters - with less forms of communication available to interpret what each other are trying to say (since communication involves not only what you say but your body language/facial expression and tone of voice to create the full picture of what you are saying) this opens both of you up to much more miscommunication and misunderstanding.

So if you are in a Long Distance Relationship you need to make sure that having and/or learning Relationship Mastery Skills is a requirement in your relationship.

If your partner is not on board, this will lower your success rate of communication and functionally in the relationship but even if you just make it your own mission to learn as much as you can in the areas of communication, conflict resolution and negotiation techniques it will make for a much stronger relationship built on understanding and cooperation.

So of course, I’d recommend our Counsellor in a Box Home Study Program (http://www.counsellorinabox.com) that includes an entire Mainbook Chapter and Workbook Chapter on Relationship Mastery Skills, a mini-book on Communication Modes and a mini-book on Negotiation – but any resources you can find on Relationship Mastery is a great place to start.

It is also important to remember that we learn best through our own Communication Modes or Channels so each person is different as to what skills and techniques will work best for them so keep searching until you find material and resources that feel comfortable, easy and makes the most sense to you and encourage your partner to do the same if he or she is searching as well.

So this concludes our 5 part series, we at the Centre wish you and your long –distance relationship all the best.

If you have any questions you can email us @ relationshipcentre@shaw.ca

Warm Regards,

Melody Chase
Centre For Life Management
http://www.trueloveondemand.com
http://www.lovebydesignbook.com
http://www.counsellorinabox.com
http://www.drrobbyonline.com
Email: relationshipcentre@shaw.ca
(204) 475-0323

If you are looking for more suggestions on how to have a successful Long-Distance Relationship – check-out our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Home Study Program at http://www.counsellorinabox.com

Real-life, Practical, Proven Solutions, Support and Resources To Help You Create The Relationship of Your Dreams!

Making A Long Distance Relationship Work – Part 4

Welcome To Part 4 of our 5 part series on “Making a Long Distance Romance Work”

In Part 3 I talked about whether both you and your partner feel loved - now for Part 4 let’s talk about “Do Both Of You have A Support System?”

Part 4 – Do You Both Have A Support System?

In one of our other series called “How To Stop Being Enmeshed With Your Ex- Partner – Part 3 Seek Support Elsewhere” (http://www.lovebydesignbook.blogspot.com) we talked about how not only is this world abundant, there is also an abundance of people willing to give you support for whatever issues you may have including of course needing support when you are in a Long Distance Relationship.

Not only is having a Long-Distance relationship susceptible to all the same types of issues that a couple that see each other everyday has, there are also issues unique to being in a Long-Distance Relationship.

These Long-Distance Relationship issues can be anything from being lonely, feeling left out from hanging out with other couples (or feeling like the third wheel), to trust issues and the potential deficiencies and toxicities that I have already been discussing throughout this series.

So it is vital to your Long Distance Relationship to make sure you have a support system set-up and functioning for you whether that is your family, friends, even support counsellors.

Check to see if there are support groups in your area and don’t count out systems of support that can be found on the internet such as http://www.loveshack.org/forums/ which is Relations Website Forum that has a specific forum on Long Distance Relationships.

It’s worth the time to do the research and make sure to keep in touch with your friends, family and community even if you do not seek out specific support, having the company and sense of connection with others is supportive in and of itself.

Just as important, you need to encourage your Long-Distance partner to have a support system set up as well since just like when on a team, the team is as strong as its weakest link.

In Part 5, we will be discussing whether both interested in learning relationship mastery or relationship success skills, so don’t forget to come back and visit!

Warm Regards Melody Chase

Centre For Life Management

http://www.trueloveondemand.com

http://www.lovebydesignbook.com

http://www.counsellorinabox.com

http://www.drrobbyonline.com

Email: relationshipcentre@shaw.ca

(204) 475-0323

If you are looking for more suggestions on how to have a successful Long-Distance Relationship – check-out our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Home Study Program at http://www.counsellorinabox.com

Real-life, Practical, Proven Solutions, Support and Resources To Help You Create The Relationship of Your Dreams!

Plus ...

Want to Save Your Marriage Or Relationship? Get Your FREE Video Tutorials, Reports and
Templates to Get any Ex Back Today!
http://www.counsellorinabox.com/FreeVideos.html

Making A Long Distance Relationship Work– Part 3

In Part 2 of our 5 part series on "How To Make Your Long Distance Relationship Work" we talked about whether all your needs are being met in the relationship.

Now for Part 3 let's discuss the topic of “Do Both of You Feel Loved?”

3) Do Both Of You Feel Loved?

In Part 2 of our series I was talking about the importance keeping the love, connection, passion and communication going for those stretches between physical visits with your long-distance partner.

The best way to go about doing this is to find out what yours and your partner’s communication modes are and come up with creative ways of expressing yourselves through your Communication Modes.

In addition, understanding and communicating in each other’s communication modes is important in and of itself in order to avoid deficiencies in many areas of your relationship including actual communication and the ability give love and feel love as Dr. Robby explains in the following excerpt from our Counsellor in a Box Communication Mode Mini-Book: (http://www.counsellorinabox.com)

Dr. Robby says:

“Communication is the result you get. Different people are on different channels. We learn, we express love and communicate through different modes or combinations of modes. It is important to know who you are playing with, what channel they are playing on or else your communication will not be very effective.”

“We basically all want to get what we want. If you cannot get your message through of what your needs, wants, dreams, goals and visions are, you will be very frustrated and stressed. You will feel very empty if you cannot communicate the love you have to give and the love you want, so an understanding of communication mode love strategies is a basic skill for relationship success.”

So what I will now do is give you:

A brief description of the Communication Modes.

A quick verbal way to tell what yours and your partner’s communication modes are.

Some examples of how you can communicate with your partner in each other’s communication modes.

REMEMBER Relationships are a mutual fulfillment of needs which means you need to give your partner what he/she wants in the way he/she wants it – so keep in mind that you want to look for ways on how your can express your love towards your partner and communicate in your partner’s communication mode and then explain if needed to your partner how you would like to receive your communication - by giving first to your partner, your partner will be better able to understand because he/she will be able to feel your love towards him/her and will be able to understand what you are teaching better since we all learn best via our own communication modes. In Dr. Robby’s Excerpt, he mentioned Love Strategies - there is an article by Bob Scheinfeld about Love Strategies that he had learned from Tony Robbin’s “Three Days to Unlimited Power Program.” In Bob Scheinfeld’s article, he explains how a person in each communication mode would like to be loved.

Bob Scheinfeld has an explanation for Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic people; however, he has left out the Digitals people - so we have added some information on Digitals to his explanation.

One last note before we begin - there are 4 main communication modes and a person can be a blend of 1, 2, 3 or all 4 and some communication modes may be stronger than others.

Visual Communication Mode:

Visual people communicate by seeing and doing. They like activities and they like gifts. They notice people, places and things with just the slightest glance. They feel and share love by doing things with or for other people. They take things at face value and do not look deeper into things. They learn by seeing and doing.

People who are in the Visual love strategy need to “see” that you love them. “Seeing” takes the form of receiving flowers or gifts and/or seeing you do unexpected thoughtful acts for them (like a special romantic evening or getaway, a massage, a day of pampering, etc.). People with this strategy need to see “evidence” or “proof.”

There are some basic things that your partner will say during normal conversations which will help you figure out what mode or modes your partner is in.

A Visual person will say things like “I see or do you see what I mean.”

The most obvious suggestion for a long-distance relationship if your partner and/or you communicate in the Visual channel is take the time to schedule visits to see each other in person whenever possible (without making it too stressful on both of your lifestyles and/or careers since that can create deficiencies and toxicities for both of you and the relationship as well)

Visual people need to see and be with their partner for connection and to feel loved so that “in person” visit is like a “recharge” – it’s like plugging in your cell phone when your batteries are low.

Now for creative ideas to “communicate” in the Visual channel you need to think up as many ways that you can to “see’ each others – keep pictures and videos of your partner and the two of you together on your camera phone, have a webcam set-up when you are emailing each other or chatting using Skype (or other similar technologies), send each others video or live stream of each other via your computer, send each other pictures via emails on the computer (or your camera phones, PDAs etc ) and/or send pictures to each other of each other via the old fashioned snailmail.

There are even home phones now days where you can see each other while talking to each other long-distance.

To get even more creative you can go to one of those photo places (or do some of the following ideas at home too) and get pictures of you or the two of you made into a poster, calendar, keychain, magnet, button –the sky’s the limit – so you will always have each other nearby where both of you can see each other.

It seems simple but you will “see” the huge difference on how loved and connected the two of you will feel and will continue to feel.

Auditory Communication Mode:

Auditory people communicate through talking. They have the natural gift of the gab and are designed to be able to talk for long periods of time. They enjoy talking and listening to other people talk. They feel loved when they are talked to, and like to hear the words “I love you”. They learn by hearing.

People with the Auditory love strategy need to hear the words “I love you” (or similar words) to feel totally and completely loved. The also want to connect through conversation. Talk, talk, and more talk.

In order to tell if your partner is Auditory, your partner will say “Do you hear what I am saying or I hear what you are saying or I hear you.”

For an Auditory partner or if you are Auditory I would recommend getting a really good Long-Distance Calling Plan or get a service like Skype where you are can talk to each other via your computers/the internet. Even just a quick call to say “Hello” on a frequent basis will help.

You can also send each other Mp3 Audios of each other’s voices or each other’s favorite songs (which can be a Digital Communication Mode Technique as well). You can use the same techniques as the Visual people do but focusing on sound instead such as webcams and videos or live-streaming. You can send each other a tape cassette via mail too.

There are even cards for special events like Birthdays where you can record your voice on them. For example I bought one of these cards for my Mom for Mother’s Day and I recorded myself saying “I Love You” on it - now everyday my Mom gets up and opens my card and hears my voice.

The important thing to remember is to talk and chat as often as yours and your partner’s lifestyles and/or careers can comfortably handle.

Digital Communication Mode:

Digital people communicate through connection and understanding. They find the deeper meaning in everything they think, see and do. Understanding is very important to them. They feel loved when they share connections with others and are understood. They learn by understanding.

Digital people seek to understand and to be understood in order to feel loved. They would like to connect at an emotional, intellectual and spiritual level.

In order to tell if your partner is Digital, your partner will say “Do you know what I mean or I understand what you mean.”

Digital people can use the same techniques as Visual and Auditory people do but just remember to seek to understand your partner and connect with him/her.

Writing to your partner in any form or in any vehicle is also great if he or she is Digital. Poetry or writing a story that involves the two of you together really will help him/her to feel part of your inner world and that you understand him/her and his/her inner world. (This is also a good technique for Visual people because they get to ‘see’ what you wrote).

Even connecting through Social Networking Sites like Twitter where you and your long-distance partner can keep up with each other’s day to day activities will keep the two of you mentally connected and “in the know (It’s also great for Auditory people because of the chat factor and Visual peoples because you are asking “What Are You Doing?”)

Kinesthetic Communication Mode:

Kinesthetic people communicate through their bodies. They move, feel and express through their bodies and love doing physical activities. Kinesthetic people love to touch and are very touchy-feely. They feel loved when they are touched. They learn through touch and through experience.

People with the Kinesthetic love strategy need to be touched in certain ways or in certain places to feel totally and completely loved. It might be massaging the scalp a certain way, kissing a certain spot under the neck, rubbing an ear just so, etc. It should be noted that this strategy rarely if ever involves touch of a sexual nature.

In order to tell if your partner is Kinesthetic, your partner will say “I get a feeling for it or I know how your feel.”

Kinesthetic people have the same issue as Visuals - sometimes you just need to get together in person for a ‘recharge’ since Kinesthetics people give and receive love through touch – so when comfortably possible for your lifestyle and/or career get together with your long-distance partner in person.

I saw a documentary where technology is being developed where one day you will be able to “touch” people via your computer by being hooked up to a bunch of sensors, but that won’t be for a while - so in the meantime you can exchange with your long-distance partner your belongings or clothes like a sweater or each other’s hats so you feel more “in touch” with each other. (This works from a “meaning” sense for Digital people and a “visual” sense” for Visual people as well).

For more information on Communication Modes in general as well as how to test for both yourself and your partner’s Communication Modes check out our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Home Study Program @ http://www.counsellorinabox.com

O.k. this post was a little long but hopefully it was worth it for you to take the time out to read.

Don’t worry Part 4 on “Do You Have A Support System?” is a lot shorter - so “see”, “talk”, “get on the same page” or “get in touch with you” in our next post.

Warm Regards

Melody Chase

Centre For Life Management

http://www.trueloveondemand.com

http://www.lovebydesignbook.com

http://www.counsellorinabox.com

http://www.drrobbyonline.com

Email: relationshipcentre@shaw.ca

(204) 475-0323

If you are looking for more suggestions on how to have a successful Long-Distance Relationship – check-out our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Home Study Program at http://www.counsellorinabox.com

Real-life, Practical, Proven Solutions, Support and Resources To Help You Create The Relationship of Your Dreams!

Plus ...

Want to Save Your Marriage Or Relationship?
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Making A Long Distance Relationship Work – Part 2

In Part 1 of our 5 part series on "How To Make Your Long Distance Relationship Work" we talked about "What Does a Long-Distance Relationship Mean To Both of You?

Now for Part 2 let's discuss the topic of "Are all your needs being met in the relationship?"

2) Are All Your Needs Being Met In The Relationship?

In our Love by Design book (http://wwwlovebydesignbook.com) and our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Home Study Program (http://www.counsellorinabox.com) we talk about values. Values can be described as something that is important to you. It is something that you are willing to focus on and put attention and time into in order to maintain.

Our ideas and beliefs about the relative worth of things in our lives are called values. They are not facts, but choices we have made as we matured. When our actions match our values, we experience emotional balance. When they don’t match, we feel frustrated and experience emotional imbalance.

Our values play an integral part in determining the compatibility and success of our relationships. Values are the glue that holds people together. Lack of compatible values can be the undoing of a relationship.

So for example, if both you and the partner you are having a long distance relationship with have “business” or “work-centred” values (which means both of you will put your energy and focus first and foremost into your work or careers over any other value), then both of you will be happy and fulfilled having a long-distance relationship since what you value most is independent of each other and does not interfere, take away from or need to be attended to in your relationship.

As well if you are “friendship-centred” meaning your friends come front and centre and it is what you focus on the majority of the time then this works well because not only is there no powerstruggles going on (having to split time between your partner and your friends) you also have a built-in support system for the times when you are lonely and missing your partner and/or need people to talk to about your long-distance relationship.

However, if one or both you and your partner are “relationship-centred” which means being in a relationship with each other is where you focus your energy and attention on over all other values and you crave being together one-on-one every day first and foremost over all other values - you may find a long-distance relationship unfulfilling because it is impossible to spend a great deal of time together.

Another example of how unfulfilled values can cause deficiency and toxicity in your relationship is that if you or the person you are having an exclusive long-distance relationship with has a high sex drive and sex is a high value. (which is just as an important value as any other and is often a hidden powerstruggle in relationships because the couple does not acknowledge the importance of sex in their relationship for one or both partners).

If you are in an exclusive long-distance relationship and you or your partner have a high sex drive and sex is a high value and/or if one or both of you are relationship-centred the reality of the situation is that the two of you have to work trips into your schedule so you can physically get together whenever possible.

Then in the meantime between visits, the both of you have to come up with some creative ideas to keep the passion, spark and sense of connection flowing in the relationship.

In Part 3 of our series we have a bunch of suggestions on how to keep the connection, passion and communication going for those stretches between physical visits by tapping into your Communication Modes or Love Strategies so make sure to come back to read Part 3 " Do Both Of Your Feel Loved?

Warm Regards

Melody Chase
Centre For Life Management
http://www.trueloveondemand.com
http://www.lovebydesignbook.com
http://www.counsellorinabox.com
http://www.drrobbyonline.com
Email: relationshipcentre@shaw.ca
(204) 475-0323

If you are looking for more suggestions on how to have a successful Long-Distance Relationship – check-out our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Home Study Program at http://www.counsellorinabox.com

Real-life, Practical, Proven Solutions, Support and Resources To Help You Create The Relationship of Your Dreams!

Making a Long Distance Relationship Work -
Part 1

A few years ago I wrote an article about Long Distance Romances and/or Relationships in regards to whether this type of relationship is highest and best for you in our Love By Design Ezine.

However recently I have realized by reviewing comments and emails for readers and clients that many people are more interested in How To Make Their Long Distance Romance and/or Relationship Work.

So just like I mentioned in the original Long Distance Relationship Article in order to have a healthy, long-distance relationship, both partners need to be on the same page and both of you need to have your needs met otherwise there may be toxicities or deficiencies in the relationship caused by hidden powerstruggles, unfulfilled expectations and/or needs not being met.

So I have developed the following 5 part series to discuss the main areas that need to be met in any relationship let alone a long distance romance since all relationships are a mutual fulfillment of needs.

For this series we will be covering the following topics or areas:

1) What Does a Long-Distance Relationship Mean To Both Of You?

2) Are Yours and Your Partner’s Values Being Met?

3) Do Both Of Your Feel Loved?

4) Do Your Both Have Support Systems?

5) Are You Both Interested In Learning Relationship Mastery or Relationship Success Skills?

For Part 1 Let’s Discuss What Does a Long-Distance Relationship Mean To Both of You?

Part 1 - What Does a Long-Distance Relationship Mean To Both of You?

The following questions are designed to open communication with your partner as well as yourself to find out if you are both on the same page.

• What does a long-distance relationship mean to you?
• What does a long-distance relationship mean to your partner?
• Does it mean that you will always have a long-distance relationship with this partner?
• Do you expect to get together with this partner ending the long distance part eventually, if so when? Does you your partner share the same time-line?
• Are you at the same commitment level? For example, are you still allowed to date other people or are you not allowed to date anyone else? Is your partner allowed to date other people?
• Are the two of you at the same life transition point as well as lifetime line? For example do you want to get married to your partner eventually? Does your partner want to get married to you eventually? Do you want to have a family with your partner at some point and if so when? Does your partner want to have a family with you and if so when?

Understanding where you are at as far as commitment is important enough on its own in a relationship, but it is just as important to know where the two of you are at as a whole in your long-distance relationship.

If the questions above are not clear between you and your partner, it will inevitably cause powerstruggles and unfulfilled expectations as well as a sense of longing, questioning and doubt which can create deficiencies and toxicities (especially in the area of emotions) in your relationship which is not a good way to build the foundation of your relationship especially when you are trying to create positive upstate associations with each other and create a base to expand as well as maintain your love and attraction for one another from.

In Part 2 we will be discussing Whether Yours and Your Partner’s Values Are Being Met.

Warm Regards,

Melody Chase

If you are looking for more suggestions on how to have a Successful Long-Distance Relationship – check-out our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Home Study Program at www.counsellorinabox.com where we provide you with real-life, practical, proven solutions, support and resources to help you create the relationship of your dreams.

How To Stop Being Enmeshed With Your Ex- Partner – Part 4

Welcome to Part 4 of our 4 Part Series on “How To Stop Being Enmeshed With Your Ex-Partner.

In Part 3 we talked about the Importance of “Seeking Support Elsewhere”

For our Last entry of our Series let’s examine the importance of “Reminding Yourself That It Is An Abundant World.

4) Remind Yourself That It is an Abundant World:

Just as we mentioned under the last heading and as we explain in our Love By Design Book (http://www.lovebydesignbook.com) there is an abundance of people who can support you as well there is an abundance of people who would love you unconditionally and give you all your needs, wants and requirements in life – effortlessly and authentically – there is over 6 billion people in the world – why hold on to your ex-partner and get a fraction of your needs met when you can let your ex-partner go completely and get your needs met 100% and be in a full partnership with someone.

You may already be with someone and not realize that your new partner is here for you or there may be a new person waiting in the wings for you to release you ex-partner for good at an emotional, physical, intellectual and energetic level.

In any case if you find yourself in a similar situation as Paul and Danielle where one or both of you do not want to get back together and the reality is that your lives are going to cross paths for ongoing reasons such as sharing custody with the children, working at the same company (and a transfer or change of occupation isn’t possible at this time) or having relatives who are married or connected to your ex-partner’s family as examples – doing what you can to ensure that you are no longer enmeshed and remain that way is in yours and in everyone’s best interest.

If you have any questions, you can email us at relationshipcentre@shaw.ca

Warm Regards,

Melody Chase

Is He or She Your Destiny?

If You Are Looking For a Proven System to Help You Decide Whether You Should Stay or Go In Your Relationship Check-out our Love By Design Program Now at http://www.lovebydesignbook.com

How To Stop Being Enmeshed With Your Ex- Partner – Part 3

Welcome to Part 3 of our 4 Part Series on “How To Stop Being Enmeshed With Your Ex-Partner.

In Part 2 we discussed suggestion #2 about Creating Boundaries. Now for Part 3 let’s discuss “Seeking Support Elsewhere”

3) Seek Support Elsewhere:

It’s time to find support elsewhere – it is abundant world full of people willing to give you support whether that is family, friends, support groups for women, men, divorced people, parenting, grief counselling and don’t forget internet forums - it is amazing how many outstanding and professional relationship, parenting and dating forums that are out there who can help you and provide support who have been through and is going through what you are going through. An example of an excellent Relationship Website Forum that covers a multitude of Relationship Topics is LoveShack.Org Interpersonal Relationship Centre at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/

We understand that part of the hesitation is that you may never find someone who feels as natural as your ex-partner when it comes to support but a lot of that is really because of the safe feeling of familiarity of simply interacting with your ex-partner for so long and from the bonding experience of experiencing crisis situations with your partner.

Now is the chance to develop new healthy relationships based on familiarity and bonding created from unconditional love, support and healing instead of crisis.

As well, you will never lose the experiences good or bad that you had with your ex-partner, you were witnesses to each others traumas and came to each other’s rescue - be appreciative of that - even tell your partner that you appreciate everything that he or she has done for you and say thank-you but it is time for both of you to carry on and find new supportive systems. – especially if your ex-partner or yourself is in a new relationship.

In Part 4 of our 4 Part Series we will be discussing the importance Reminding Yourself That It Is An Abundant World.

If you have any questions, you can email us at relationshipcentre@shaw.ca

Warm Regards,

Melody Chase

Is He or She Your Destiny?

If You Are Looking For a Proven System to Help You Decide Whether You Should Stay or Go In Your Relationship? Check-out our Love By Design Program Now at http://www.lovebydesignbook.com

How To Stop Being Enmeshed With Your Ex-Partner – Part 2

Welcome to Part 2 of our 4 Part Series on ‘How To Stop Being Enmeshed With Your Ex-Partner’

In Part 1 of our Series we gave the example of Paul and Danielle who were divorced but were still enmeshed with each others in many ways and areas of their life.

We then introduced four suggestions of how to cut ties with one’s ex-partner and went into more detail about suggestion #1 about Having a “Letting Go Ceremony”

Now for Part 2 let’s discuss “Creating Boundaries.”

2) Create Boundaries:

Boundaries don’t have to be complicated – sometimes it is as simple as making a commitment to have boundaries with your ex.

My favorite quote about commitment came from the side of my Starbucks Coffee Cup one day from the Starbucks “The Way I See It” Series #76 by a Starbucks Customers named Anne Morris. It goes as follows:

“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating—in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.”

So if you commit to having boundaries - emotional, physical, intellectual and energetic boundaries with your ex-partner you will be surprised as to how much easier it will be to maintain and hold fast your stand.

In Part 3 we discuss Suggestion #3 about “Seeking Support Elsewhere”

If you have any questions you can email us at relationshipcentre@shaw.ca

Warm Regards,

Melody Chase

Is He or She Your Destiny?

If You Are Looking For a Proven System to Help You Decide Whether You Should Stay or Go In Your Relationship? Check-out our Love By Design Program Now at
http://www.lovebydesignbook.com

How To Stop Being Enmeshed With Your Ex- Partner - Part 1

At our LMC Relationship Centre we had a question from a man (who we will call Paul for the purposes of our article) who was in a really difficult and sticky relationship situation.

Paul had divorced his wife (who we will call Danielle) and his wife Danielle was in a new relationship.

However, Paul and Danielle were still enmeshed with each other because of several factors including:

1. That they share custody of their children.
   
2. They were used of being each other’s support system during crisis situations and both of them were having a period of crisis with relatives so they were naturally still drawn to support each other.
3. They still had romantic and/or sexual chemistry together.

The enmeshment causing factors wasn’t bothering Danielle because she was in another relationship but this was driving Paul crazy especially knowing the Danielle was with someone else.

Paul didn't know how to sever ties with Danielle - he had to share the children and was so used to being there for Danielle and Danielle’s family that Paul couldn't fathom not supporting Danielle emotionally anymore and no longer receiving emotional support from Danielle as well.

Paul was afraid it was only a matter of time before he was going to give in and want to be in a relationship with Danielle again or worse yet end up having an affair with Danielle.

So whether you are in a situation like Paul or Danielle and especially when there are other people involved like children and new partners, it is only fair to everyone involved to learn ways on how to break the enmeshment and create new, healthy boundaries.

So we have developed some practical suggestions on how to create boundaries which include:

1) Having a Letting Go Ceremony

2) Creating Boundaries

3) Seeking Support Elsewhere

4) Reminding Yourself It Is An Abundant World

I have split this article into a 4 Part Series so we can go over in more detail each of the suggestions above.

For Part 1 of our Series let’s go over ‘Having a Letting Go Ceremony'.

1) Having A Letting Go Ceremony:

In another article I wrote I talked about the importance of being able to let go of your ex-partner and offered some exercises that can help symbolically cut the ties emotionally, physically, intellectually and even energically between you and your ex-partner. These same exercises can be applied here in the case of mutual enmeshment. It may sound simplistic but do not underestimate the power of putting on a production- this is why all cultures have symbolic ceremonies such as weddings, funerals and graduations to name a few.

So some creative ways to have a “Letting Go Ceremony” in order to symbolically let your relationship go would be writing a good-bye letter. A letter is also a good way to get anything that is unresolved about the relationship that you need to get off your chest.

If it doesn't feel right to give the letter to you ex-partner, you can always burn it or bury it like Ugly Betty did with her ex-boyfriend Henry's things that they shared together at the beginning of the T.V. Series Ugly Betty Season Two. You can take anything that represents your relationship to symbolically dispose of as well.

In Part 2 of our 4 Part Series we will be discussing the importance of creating boundaries.

If you have any questions, you can email us at relationshipcentre@shaw.ca

Warm Regards,

Melody Chase

Is He or She Your Destiny?

If You Are Looking For a Proven System to Help You Decide Whether You Should Stay or Go In Your Relationship? Check-out our Love By Design Program Now at http://www.lovebydesignbook.com

Is Your Partner a Male Diva? Part Seven

Welcome to Part Seven or our Grande Finale of our Male Diva Series. In our last post we talked about the importance of having fun and creating an environment of fun for your Expressive Male. For our last part of our series, let’s discuss…

7) Knowing The Difference Between Disagreement and Disapproval:

Knowing the difference between disagreement and disapproval is so important to an Expressive, that I am just going to get Dr. Robby ( Director of the LMC Relationship Centre) to explain. The following is an excerpt from our Counsellor in a Box Home Study Program (http://www.counsellorinabox.com/)

Dr. Robby has the following to say about disapproval:

“Disagreement occurs on the mental or rational level. You may disagree with your partner’s choice of a tie. Or you may disagree with him being too tiredto go out after work.”

“Disapproval, on the other hand, occurs on the emotional level. Disagreement turns into disapproval when you start to withdraw emotionally from your partner.”

“Disapproval implies: ‘You did something I disagree with therefore, I can’t love you as much as before - so I am pulling away now.’ You disagree with your partner’s choice of a tie and then disapprove of him for making that choice and you turn off your love for him. It’s your disapproval of others that turns simple disagreements into big issues.”

“You can notice yourself changing from a disagreeing lover (healthy) to a disapproving lover (not healthy) when you catch yourself assigning negative qualities to your partner’s character: He is tacky, he lacks class, he is inconsiderate, he is overemotional, he is not understanding. When you move from evaluating the problem to evaluating the person, you are disapproving and not just disagreeing.”

“In successful relationships people accept one another. They do not necessarily agree with one another, but they have an acceptance, understanding and forgiveness.”

“Disapproval is based on criticism and judgment. Conditional love is based on approval. Unconditional love is based on acceptance.”

The major cause of conflict between two people is a lack of strong, positive emotional connection. So my (Dr. Robby’s) formula for dealing with conflict is:

1. Put the issue aside.

2. Reestablish your connection with your partner by dissolving the emotional tension.

3. Then go back to deal with the issue.

And of course keep in mind that you are in disagreement with your partner’s behavior or opinion – not your partner as a person. Keeping this last point in mind helps you from sliding over from Disagreement to Disapproval.

I have presented to you a lot of information to take in, so take your time and even just concentrate on one point or way at a time until you get used to it and then work on the next one. It will be worth it because you will see how happy and appreciative your Expressive partner will become.

Wishing You Fun, Freedom and Love,

Melody Chase

Are you in a committed relationship and are looking for communication tools so you can have that happy and harmonious relationship you have always envisioned? Check out our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Home Study Program at http://www.counsellorinabox.com

Is Your Partner a Male Diva? Part Six

Welcome to Part Six of our Male Diva Series. In our last post we talked about the importance of being your Male Diva’s #1 Cheerleader. Now for Part Six which is…

6) Have Fun – Create An Environment Of Fun: Expressives, (including Expressive males) middle name in “Fun”. They live and breathe for fun and it is one of their top values. So why not make the activities of daily life – fun?

For example - pealing potatoes? Make it fun, have the Potato Olympics where every time your partner peels potatoes, “time it” to see how long he takes (if there is skin still left on the potatoes, that’s o.k., it’s healthy for you.) Then the next time he peels, see if he beat his own personal time.

Cleaning? Put on his favorite music.

Got a cell phone? For no reason whatsoever just phone home while your still at home and get him to answer just to say “Hi”. In fact, just randomly call and say you miss him while you are out.

Watching T.V together? (Even if this normally bugs you) start commenting on the characters like you know them because Expressives just love people even people they don’t know.

There is no reason why we can’t be productive and have fun at the same time – in fact I have feeling that more productivity can be accomplished when people are having fun because everyone is more relaxed and more in the moment and aware of their surroundings.

For years, when I worked at a Marketing Research Firm, we were not allowed to do anything between phone-calls, not even doodle. One year the firm tried out a trial run where we were allowed to draw and read, do puzzles or write between calls and our productivity soared. Needless to say, we were allowed to do what we like between calls permanently after the trial was over.

Come back again for our Grande Finale of our 7 Part Male Diva Series.

Wishing You Fun, Freedom and Love,


Melody Chase

Are you in a committed relationship and are looking for communication tools so you can have that happy and harmonious relationship you have always envisioned? Check out our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Home Study Program at http://www.counsellorinabox.com