Is Your Partner a Male Diva? Part Seven

Welcome to Part Seven or our Grande Finale of our Male Diva Series. In our last post we talked about the importance of having fun and creating an environment of fun for your Expressive Male. For our last part of our series, let’s discuss…

7) Knowing The Difference Between Disagreement and Disapproval:

Knowing the difference between disagreement and disapproval is so important to an Expressive, that I am just going to get Dr. Robby ( Director of the LMC Relationship Centre) to explain. The following is an excerpt from our Counsellor in a Box Home Study Program (http://www.counsellorinabox.com/)

Dr. Robby has the following to say about disapproval:

“Disagreement occurs on the mental or rational level. You may disagree with your partner’s choice of a tie. Or you may disagree with him being too tiredto go out after work.”

“Disapproval, on the other hand, occurs on the emotional level. Disagreement turns into disapproval when you start to withdraw emotionally from your partner.”

“Disapproval implies: ‘You did something I disagree with therefore, I can’t love you as much as before - so I am pulling away now.’ You disagree with your partner’s choice of a tie and then disapprove of him for making that choice and you turn off your love for him. It’s your disapproval of others that turns simple disagreements into big issues.”

“You can notice yourself changing from a disagreeing lover (healthy) to a disapproving lover (not healthy) when you catch yourself assigning negative qualities to your partner’s character: He is tacky, he lacks class, he is inconsiderate, he is overemotional, he is not understanding. When you move from evaluating the problem to evaluating the person, you are disapproving and not just disagreeing.”

“In successful relationships people accept one another. They do not necessarily agree with one another, but they have an acceptance, understanding and forgiveness.”

“Disapproval is based on criticism and judgment. Conditional love is based on approval. Unconditional love is based on acceptance.”

The major cause of conflict between two people is a lack of strong, positive emotional connection. So my (Dr. Robby’s) formula for dealing with conflict is:

1. Put the issue aside.

2. Reestablish your connection with your partner by dissolving the emotional tension.

3. Then go back to deal with the issue.

And of course keep in mind that you are in disagreement with your partner’s behavior or opinion – not your partner as a person. Keeping this last point in mind helps you from sliding over from Disagreement to Disapproval.

I have presented to you a lot of information to take in, so take your time and even just concentrate on one point or way at a time until you get used to it and then work on the next one. It will be worth it because you will see how happy and appreciative your Expressive partner will become.

Wishing You Fun, Freedom and Love,

Melody Chase

Are you in a committed relationship and are looking for communication tools so you can have that happy and harmonious relationship you have always envisioned? Check out our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Home Study Program at http://www.counsellorinabox.com