The Importance of Being Fully Present in a Relationship

There are times when we find ourselves in situations where we would rather be doing something else. You wish you could get out of it, but at this point in time you are not up to being authentic for whichever the reason. So until you create the environment that you seek, what is the best way to deal with your present situation?

It is actually important to deal with this situation, in order to make sure you live every moment of your life regardless of your circumstances as well as the importance of being present if you are with your partner or the people around you. Regardless of whatever channel of communication your partner or the other people receive in, people can sense it when you are not fully present and are in resistance to your situation.

For example, your partner has been really looking forward to going on a fishing trip with you at the lake. You can’t stand the lake or fishing, you know if you where authentic, you would tell your partner the truth, but where you are at for the time being, you don’t have the heart to tell your partner because you are afraid you will hurt and disappoint your partner.

So you go on the trip. Although you don’t complain and are going through the motions, you are not really there because you are in resistance and judgment of the situation. Your partner at a deeper level can feel your heart is not in it and that you are distant and thinking about other things.

So now the trip is over, your partner and you are heading back home in the car. Your partner doesn’t look happy and they’re quiet. You ask what’s wrong. They say that they didn’t really have that fun of a time. You ask why not? They say because they felt like you really weren’t in to what the two of you were doing. You get offended and irritated pointing out to your partner that you did come out to the lake with them and you did everything that your partner wanted you to do. Your partner explains that they felt like you were just going through the motions.

So at the end of the day, (or weekend) you wasted the whole trip in resistance and aloofness and your partner felt unfulfilled anyway.

So in this type of situation, is there anything that you can do in order to have a happy partner and prevent yourself from wasting time in your life by not wanting to be in it? Is there way to change time in your life to the time of your life?

When you find yourself in the kind of situation as above, we do have the following suggestions as to how both of you can get the best of life and each others:

(The following is also the key to helping people who have stress and anxiety as well).

Accept your circumstances for the moment. If it is something that you don’t want be doing, you will have time to create what you want when the time comes.

Focus on the moment; don’t focus on the past or future. If the event is something that is fearful or anxiety provoking for you, as simple as it sounds as long as you are in the moment you will not be afraid of your present circumstances.

Momentarily suspend all judgment of the situation – do not judge whether the situation or anyone (including you) is positive or negative.

Come from a position of curiosity, “Let’s see what happens.”

Have fun and laugh.

Be the best you can be, go into your situation with 100% participation. Even if you are not the best at what you are doing, fully embrace what you are doing. For example, in the case of fishing at the lake, be the best fisherperson you can be. If you are not fishing, be the best companion to your partner as you watch them fish. Be the best listener to the sounds of nature and the lake around you. Heck, be the best mosquito swatter for you and your partner.

Don’t worry about over extending yourself, as long as you come from enthusiasm, ( instead of excitement) you will be fully energized and will have a ton of energy to spare that is freed up because you are not in resistance or worry about anything. When you participate with 100% attention and enthusiasm regardless of the situation you can’t help but be fully present and alive.

When you are fully present and alive, everyone around you will feel it and in turn they will also be sharing the same gift of the present and of life as you.

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