Why Communication Breaks Down

One of the most crucial elements in any relationship is communication and when communication breaks down its imperative that you find out the cause of the breakdown so that you can try to fix the problem before it destroys the relationship. Communication can break down in a relationship for a variety of reasons including the birth of a baby, financial strains and distrust in the relationship. Regardless of the cause of the communication break down, it is vital to the health of the relationship to reopen the lines of communication.

While the birth of a couple’s first child may be a glorious and blessed event that they were both looking forward to, the arrival of a new baby may put strains on the relationship. Specifically there may be a communication break down after the baby’s birth. There are a number of reasons why communication breaks down after the birth of a baby. The addition of a new element into the relationship that previously included just the two partners can be stressful. While they don’t begrudge the attention that their partner lavishes on the new baby it does take an adjustment period to deal with the fact that they no longer have their partner’s undivided attention. As the couple learns to balance their time and ensure that both their partner and their child are receiving enough of their attention, there may be a period where the stress of making this adjustment causes a break down in communication. Also, typically the birth of a baby leads to a complete change of schedule as well as a stretch of sleep deprivation for the couple. While the couple may have previously been used to doing things as they please, they now realize that most activities must be planned around the baby’s schedule which is often unpredictable. This new scheduled coupled with the lack of sleep that typically plagues new parents can put a great deal of pressure on the relationship. To avoid this type of communication break down it is important for the couple to realize that they need to allot time to spend with the baby and also with each other. They also need to realize that the sleep deprivation is affecting them both and take turns getting up with the baby. These few simple steps can go a long way in reversing or preventing a communication break down. Although a new couple loves their new baby, the challenge of adapting to the baby’s schedule can be one reason why communication breaks down in a relationship and it is up to the couple to ensure that their relationship does not suffer a communication break down.

A concern over financial matters is another reason why communication breaks down. Struggling with financial issues can be extremely stressful for either one or both partners in a relationship. If one partner typically handles the finances in a relationship they may not wish to worry their partner so they may struggle internally with the financial concerns. While this is a noble gesture, it can also cause a communication break down in the relationship. The one partner may feel that this is a burden they need to bear on their own and therefore avoid talking about the subject with their partner. The problem with this is that in trying to avoid conversations regarding finances they may end up avoiding conversations all together. For example, a conversation about where to go out to dinner may be avoided because thinking about spending too much money on leisure activities causes too much anxiety on one of the partners. The partner who is unaware of the financial concerns may be offended by their partner’s avoidance of a simple conversation. One way to avoid or reverse having a communication break down over finances is to share the responsibility of the finances and openly discuss concerns over financial matters. Doing this will ensure that neither partner becomes consumed by financial matters and allows it to affect the relationship. Finances can induce enough stress to destroy even the most secure relationships by causing a communication break down but planning ahead and speaking openly about finances can help a couple to avoid a communication break down.

Distrust is another factor that can affect communication in a relationship. If one of the partners has a reason to be suspicious of the other it creates a distrust that directly affects communication. Also, if one person has a reason to feel guilty in a relationship, it may result in a break down in communication. This lack of trust or guilt often results in the couple not wanting to communicate either because they don’t want to have their suspicions confirmed or because they don’t want their secret to be revealed. These feelings of suspicion or guilt may lead to strained conversations that are purposefully not very meaningful. One way to avoid a break down in communication in this situation is to always be upfront with your partner. Whether it’s suspicion or guilt that is driving your fear of communication, being honest with your partner will alleviate your fears and reopen the lines of communication. You run the risk of having your suspicions confirmed but it’s better to be sure than to destroy your relationship while doubt remains.

Since open and honest communication is critical to a healthy relationship, it’s important to understand why communication breaks down and work to avoid a break down in communication. Having an understanding of the causes of communication break down will help you to either avoid or reverse this situation. Maintaining or restoring communication can ensure that a relationship endures and thrives.

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Why Men Cheat

The reasons why men cheat in a relationship are often different than the reasons why women cheat. A man’s reason for cheating can encompass a wide variety of reasons including genetics, a sense of challenge, self esteem and a lack of interest in their current relationship. While none are justifiable all of these can be reasons why a man chooses to stray and cheat on his current partner.

Although genetics may factor into why men cheat on their partner it may also just be a week defense for a man who is caught in his unfaithful actions. A theory exists that testosterone levels in men make them more susceptible to infidelity. This theory is based on the hypothesis that men are genetically predisposed to cheating because they are ingrained with the notion that the survival of the species is dependent on their procreation. While this may be true it is certainly not an excuse for unfaithfulness in our age of overpopulation. It may be true that in prehistoric times, men were tasked with populating the earth this is certainly not true today and is not a defensible excuse for cheating on your partner. The truth is that in a truly loving relationship a man should be able to control himself and remain faithful despite any hormonal urges to produce offspring. The theory of man being predisposed to cheating does not hold water because while it may be true, there is no excuse for not being able to quell these urges.

Another reason men cheat is because they feel a sense of challenge in their infidelity. Actually being able to get away with an affair is a challenge that men enjoy. Additionally they enjoy the challenge of finding other women with which to cheat. To them the affair is more about the conquest then anything else. Sure they may enjoy the physicality of the affair, but the pursuit and sneaking around is what really drives men who cheat on their partners. They see fooling their partner as a tremendous accomplishment and they enjoy the logistics of orchestrating the affair without their partner learning of their transgressions. To them the thrill of sneaking around and the fear of being caught creates and adrenaline rush that is more important than the affair or even their current relationship. Men also cheat because they are driven by competition. If there friends are single or cheating on their partners and often have affairs with several women the man may feel that he needs to keep up with his friends. To these men affairs become a way of competing with their friends. Infidelity in men is often driven by a sense of competition.

Many men also engage in affairs because doing so is an ego boost for them. The knowledge that they can find multiple women willing to engage in an intimate relationship with them is a tremendous self esteem builder for some men. They take pride in the ability to attract women and don’t care about the fact that doing so may destroy their relationship. To these men the excitement of the chase is almost more important than the conquest. Sometimes just knowing that other women find them desirable, is enough to stroke the ego of these men. In general it is a lack of self esteem on their part that drives them to seek out affairs in order to reiterate their attractiveness and desirability.

A man who is in an undesirable relationship may also be driven to cheat on their partner. If the relationship has begun to wane and the man no longer feels the same attraction to his partner he may seek out an affair out of boredom. If he feels his current relationship is lacking excitement he may also be driven to cheat in the hopes that he will find the excitement he desires elsewhere. While the wise thing may be to end the deteriorating relationship in search of a new more desirable partner, many men opt to hold onto the current relationship and engage in affairs. This may be because they fear that they may not find what they are looking for and may be left lonely and without a partner so they hold onto the failing relationship figuring that a bad relationship is better than none at all.

Men cheat for a variety of reasons. While none of these reasons may be justified, they do exist. The reasons that men cheat include genetics, competition, self esteem and boredom. In general while genetics may play a small part in the urge for men to cheat the majority of cheating takes place because men cannot control their sexual and competitive urges, are lacking in self esteem or are unhappy in their current relationship.

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What’s Up With Relationship Coaches?

A relationship coach is an expert who literally becomes a part of your relationship for a short time and during that time they evaluate your relationship, act as a visionary in helping you to realize the potential of your relationship and offer tips and guidelines for achieving this potential. A relationship coach often has extensive education in human development or communication and they utilize their educational background to help to enhance your relationship. Relationship coaches are tasked with instilling the skills necessary to produce a more fulfilling relationship and they often do this through listening to your understanding of the problem, observing the couple in action and creating a customized plan of action for the couple. This article will outline the basic functions of a relationship coach and how they can be beneficial in a relationship.

The first step that a relationship coach will often take is to listen to a couple’s complaints about the relationship. While the couple may not be seeing the full problem, their understanding of the existing issues is often a good starting point for a relationship coach to begin her evaluation. It is important that in your initial consultation with a relationship coach, you bring up all of the problems you see with the relationship. While you and your partner may have already discussed these issues at length, your relationship coach needs to hear these issues so that she can be sure to make an effort to observe these issues in the next stage of the process. Being open and honest with your relationship coach about your perception of the problem is crucial to receiving a benefit from the use of a relationship coach. Trying to hide certain issues or neglecting to mention them does not give the relationship coach an accurate representation of your relationship. Furthermore it can be detrimental because if you neglect to mention a particular issue your relationship coach may be inclined to believe that you are satisfied with this aspect of your relationship and may not work to make improvements in this area. In your initial consultation with a relationship coach, you will have the opportunity to offer your take on the relationship and let the coach know what you think is working and what needs improvement.

After the initial consultation a relationship coach will often take some time to evaluate the couple’s relationship through observation. They may come into the couple’s lives on a daily basis and ask them to act normally while they observe the way that the couple interacts. This step is very important because it gives the relationship coach a chance to determine whether or not the couple’s self assessment of their relationship is accurate. The couple may have their own beliefs about why an aspect of their relationship is dysfunctional but through careful observation the relationship coach may determine that the source of the problem is very different from the couple’s perception. While a relationship coach may be able to determine the problems in a couple’s relationship through observation, this is only possibly if the couple makes an honest effort to act naturally during this observation period. If the couple tries to fix their own problems during this phase and does not act naturally it will be difficult for the relationship coach to form a valid opinion about the way the couple interacts.

Once a relationship coach has had the opportunity to meet with the couple and spend some time observing their interactions they will be able to design a customized plan of action for enhancing the relationship and working to improve troubled areas. The relationship coach will often offer exercises for the couple that will help them to see what they are doing wrong in the relationship and how these discrepancies can be fixed. These exercises may involve either role playing activities that address everyday situations the couple faces or tips for communicating in stressful situations when they arise. These exercises may also offer ways for the couple to learn to communicate in new ways for all situations not just those that place stress on the relationship. While the exercises prescribed by the relationship coach may sound either too complicated or too simplistic, it is important to remember that these exercises won’t help your relationship unless you are willing to give them a try.
Finally it is important to realize when relationship coaching will be effective in a relationship. The general rule of thumb is that if you are considering enlisting the help of a relationship coach, then they will most likely be able to help your relationship. The simple fact that you are considering a relationship coach demonstrates that you have faith in your relationship and are willing to work to improve the relationship. If you have never heard of relationship coaches and a friend or relative suggests one and your attitude is that they won’t be able to help you that that is an indication that you have already given up on the relationship and in this scenario a relationship coach will most likely not be able to help your relationship. The use of a relationship coach is most effective when at least one but preferably both of the partners are committed to doing whatever it takes to salvage the relationship.

Relationship coaches may not be for everyone or every relationship but they can be critical in enhancing a relationship in some situations. It is important to realize that relationship coaches can not solve all of your problems but they can offer you solutions for some problems and exercises for working on these problems. If you are willing to put an honest effort into solving some of the problems in your relationship then you may greatly benefit from the advice of a relationship coach.

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Weekend Romantic Adventure Ideas

Sometimes a weekend getaway is just what a couple needs to reestablish their relationship and make a new connection. Making this weekend getaway a romantic adventure can further enhance the benefits of the getaway. Engaging in adventurous activity can have the affect of drawing the couple closer together. Try finding an activity that is new to both of you and you will be able to bond while tackling new challenges and adventures. A romantic adventure may include exploring a new location, enjoying the outdoors or taking flight in a hot air balloon or glider. Whatever option you choose, a romantic adventure is sure to rejuvenate your relationship.

Travel can be a romantic and adventurous way for a couple to get away for the weekend and put some spark back into their relationship. Exploring new locations whether they are exotic or domestic allows a couple an opportunity to learn and discover together. If you live relatively close to another country you may have the chance to visit another country for the weekend and learn about different cultures, foods and people. If exploring a new country is not possible, do not be deterred. Exploring a new city can be just as fun. There may be many cities close by that you and your partner have either never visited or visited only briefly. Even spending a day or two in a new city can be an enlightening adventure. If you truly immerse yourself in a nearby city and take the opportunity to visit local restaurants and shops you are bound to notice that although the city may be very near in proximity to your own city, it has its own vibe about it. The culture of a city is driven by its residents so visiting a new area is often a chance for you and your partner to enjoy a new adventure together. Travel, whether it is domestic or international is a wonderful opportunity for a couple to enjoy a romantic weekend adventure.

Enjoying the outdoors is another way for a couple to share a weekend romantic adventure. Taking a backpacking trip is an excellent way for a couple to reconnect. While spending a few nights in isolation in the wilderness without distractions such as televisions and restaurants a couple really has an opportunity to talk and catch up on their relationship. All too often a couple falls into a rut of eating out and then returning home to watch television and go to bed but a backpacking trip may be just what a couple needs to put the spark back in their relationship. Backpacking allows a couple the opportunity to work together to prepare their meals using simplistic equipment and to have only each other to occupy their time is an excellent weekend romantic adventure idea. While backpacking may be a simple activity, the adventuresome and romantic aspects exist making this activity and excellent weekend getaway activity for a couple.

Doing something completely new to both of you such as a hot air balloon or glider ride can also be an excellent weekend romantic adventure idea for a couple. These activities can often be done right in your own city and give you the opportunity to view your city from a completely different perspective. From a high elevation, you have the opportunity to look down on your city and realize how truly small it is. While you may spend your days running errands and scurrying from place to place, viewing your hometown from such a high elevation gives you a new perspective on things. Additionally, these activities can induce a sense of fear which may bring you and your partner together. While the activity may be completely safe, the fear of the unknown can have the affect of drawing you and your partner closer together. A hot air balloon or glider ride is one way for a couple to enjoy a weekend romantic adventure that doesn’t have to take up their entire weekend but will draw them closer together and will give them a new perspective on their approach to life.

There are many weekend romantic adventure ideas that can draw a couple closer together. The idea of this type of adventure is to find a new activity that both of you will enjoy. The excitement of engaging in a new activity coupled with the closeness that you gain from spending time together is the recipe for a successful weekend romantic adventure idea.

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Tips for Making Small Talk

The ability to make small talk may come naturally to some and be difficult for others but it is a skill that can be obtained with a little bit of practice and confidence. The opportunity to make small talk presents itself on a daily basis in our lives. Anytime you are out and about, you have the opportunity to make small talk with those around you. While sometimes it’s just a matter of politeness that leads you to engage in small talk, it can also be a great networking opportunity for you. Practicing your small talk skills on a daily basis will give you the confidence you need to approach potential clients or colleagues at important networking events. Also, it is important to make sure that your body language conveys a sense of confidence. If you appear timid or uncomfortable you may put others on edge as well but if you appear confident it will help the other person to relax. If you are unsure of yourself and hesitant to make small talk with strangers you may find yourself missing out on many opportunities in both your career and social life. However, confidence in your ability to make small talk can put you in a great position for advancement in your career and social life.

Having confidence in yourself is critical to being able to make small talk. Keep in mind that the other person you are chatting with is probably just as uncomfortable as you are so don’t assume that they are more eloquent speaker than you are and be afraid to approach them. Confidence is key to making small talk because without confidence, you may simply choose not to engage in small talk when the opportunity presents itself. A lack of confidence may lead you to avoid approaching others and discourage others from approaching you. If you lack the confidence necessary to make small talk you may miss out on meeting a lot of new people.

Keeping abreast of current events is another tip for making small talk. Watch the news and read newspapers on a regular basis. This will keep you informed of newsworthy local and world events. This is important because current events can be a very easy subject for small talk. Being aware of what is going on in the world will make you seem educated and will prove that you are a concerned citizen who takes an interest in important issues. Also, being aware of current events is critical to being able to make small talk because it allows you to speak intelligently on a wide variety of subjects. Keep in mind that you don’t always have to be the one to start a conversation so it’s not enough to have a few tidbits of information prepared for small talk. You also have to be ready and able to respond to whatever subject your companion brings up in an attempt to engage you in small talk. If you keep yourself informed of a wide variety of subjects by utilizing newspapers, the Internet and news programs, you will find yourself more prepared to engage in small talk.

Listening is also a very important tip for making small talk. It is one thing to be able to strike up a conversation but it is another thing to really keep up a conversation, especially with a stranger. One way to maintain a conversation is to really listen to your companion. Listening carefully will ensure that you hear all the details that your companion offers. Use the information that you obtain to expand the conversation by asking questions about something they said earlier in the conversation or offering a personal anecdote that relates to a story they have just told you. Listening really enhances your ability to make small talk for a number of reasons. First it gives you ways to expand the conversation by asking pertinent questions or relating a story they tell to a personal experience. Listening also helps you make small talk by encouraging the other person to continue talking. If they can tell you are really interested in what they have to say because you are listening so intently, they will be encouraged to maintain the conversation instead of making an excuse to end the conversation quickly.

Finally, the key to making small talk is knowing when and how to end the conversation. Small talk isn’t meant to last very long and it can become tedious and uncomfortable if it extends past a certain amount of time. Even if things are going well and both parties are enjoying the small talk, ending the conversation before it begins to wane is important. If you are uncomfortable saying goodbye or ending a conversation have a few well rehearsed exit lines to end the conversation quickly.

Small talk is an important part of our daily lives. While it can be avoided, it is really not anything to be afraid of and small talk can lead to exciting developments in your career and social life. Engaging in small talk makes you seem more approachable and if you are able to make small talk with ease, people will be more inclined to let you in on potential business deals or let you know about social events that they are aware of in the area. Never underestimate the power or small talk and never assume that you are not capable of making small talk.

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Tips for Dating Someone With Children

Dating can be complicated enough on it’s own but when there are children involved things can get even trickier. Many people shy away from starting a relationship with a partner who already has children and many singles with children are also apprehensive about starting a relationship. While dating a person with children can lead to a wonderful relationship it is important to exercise caution to ensure that the children are not hurt by the relationship. While the existence of children in a dating situation does complicate things, it does not have to destine the relationship to failure.

Deciding when to meet the children of the person you are dating is a crucial element of the equation. It is not necessary to meet the children on the first date. Doing so can be confusing to the children if the relationship does not progress and you are soon out of the picture. While it is important that the person you are dating disclose that they have children, meeting them is not a necessary first step. It’s important that the relationship has a chance to grow before bringing the children into the equation. After all, while the children may be an important part of your partner’s life, you have to have some time to decide if you think this is a worthwhile relationship before deciding if you want to become a parental figure in the children’s lives. If you have been dating for awhile and things are starting to become more serious, now would be a good time to meet your partner’s children and get to know them as well. You don’t want to rush into meeting the children too early in your relationship but you also don’t want to wait too long either. Waiting until marriage plans are already under way will leave the children feeling helpless and powerless about the situation. Meeting the children of the person you are dating is an important step in your relationship and the timing of this step is also very important.

Once you have met the children involved it is important to be cognizant of their feelings. While you are in the relationship with their parent it is also crucial to build a relationship with the children as well if you plan to continue your dating relationship. This may be difficult if the children are resentful. If the biological parent is out of the picture due to death or divorce, the children may see you as trying to replace their parent and they may act angry or hurtful towards you. It is important to bond with the children while assuring them that you are not trying to replace their parent in any way. Sitting down with your partner and his or her children to discuss what type of role you will play in the lives of the children is a good idea. This gives everyone the opportunity to express their feelings and it is also an opportunity to establish boundaries regarding discipline and decision making. Children like to feel as though they have some control in the situation so allowing them to express their feelings will help your relationship with the children to grow.

After you have begun to bond with the children it is time to once again focus your attention on the dating relationship. Meeting your partner’s children is important as is establishing and maintaining functioning relationships with them but it’s critical that you not lose sight of your relationship with your partner after the children have been introduced into the relationship. At this juncture of the relationship it is crucial to balance time with your partner and the children. It’s fine to continue activities with the entire family but it’s also important to have time alone with your partner as you did earlier in the relationship. Setting aside time just for you and your partner will ensure that the relationship continues to grow and flourish.

Dating someone with children can be complicated but following the tips provided above will help to ease the situation. Be sure to wait until the relationship has become serious before involving the children so that they do not have unrealistic expectations. Once you decide to meet the children, take things slowly and be aware of their feelings. Following their lead will ensure that you are not moving too quickly. After the children are involved, remember to put aside time for just you and your partner to continue your own relationship. These tips will help to create a loving relationship with both your partner and his or her children.

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Tips for Dating on a Budget

Impressing your date doesn’t have to diminish your wallet. With a little resourcefulness and imagination you can plan dates that are a lot of fun and also very inexpensive. Not only will you be saving a load of money but your date will be impressed with your creativity. Inexpensive date ideas can include coffee houses, outdoor activities, theater and the arts, cooking and other fun activities.

A trip to a coffee house is an excellent inexpensive date idea if you are dating on a budget. The price of a couple of cups of coffee and a dessert to share is next to nothing compared to dinner for two at an expensive restaurant. You and your date could spend a few hours sipping coffee and enjoying your dessert while getting to know each other through casual conversation. A coffee house is a great place to bring a date because the atmosphere is very relaxed and you can sit and chat for hours without interruption.

Another date idea which is very inexpensive is to take a trip to a local park. On a nice day you and your date can spend the day walking, rollerblading, playing Frisbee or just people watching. Also, pack a picnic and set up a blanket and enjoy your lunch on the grass in the park. After lunch lay back and watch the clouds for awhile. You will be surprised how often the clouds change and take on new shapes. If the park has a lake, you may even be able to rent a canoe or paddle boat for a very small fee. Spending the day outdoors and engaging in relaxing and enjoyable activities is an excellent inexpensive date idea for those who are dating on a budget.

While the theater and the arts are generally thought of as being expensive activities you can even turn these activities into inexpensive date ideas if you are dating on a budget. Most cities have local theater companies that perform their own renditions of Broadway plays. For a fraction of what you would pay to see a play performed by a major production company, you can sit front and center in a small theater. Another inexpensive date idea is to visit your city’s local art museum. You can spend the day viewing the different pieces of artwork together and talking about what you like best about each piece. Even movie theaters can be great inexpensive date ideas. Second run movie theaters often show movies a little later then their release date but the ticket prices are usually very reasonable. These theaters often offer ticket prices that are even less than matinee prices. With a little creativity even the theater can be a great date idea for those on a budget.

Cooking is another inexpensive date idea for those dating on a budget. You and your date could plan a romantic meal, shop for the necessary ingredients and spend the night cooking and eating the meal you create. This is an excellent date idea because it is a great way for you and your date to spend quality time together. If you take your time preparing the meal, you will have plenty of time to enjoy the company of your date. The two of you will also be working together as a team which fosters a bond between you. Taking a cooking class together can also be a great inexpensive date idea. Many colleges offer cooking classes that are very affordable. You and your date could sign up for an exotic cooking class together and look forward to learning enough to create some of your favorite dishes.

Yet another tip for dating on a budget is to spend the night playing board games in your very own living room. Choose a few games from your collection and challenge your date to some friendly competition. You will be surprised at how much fun you have playing some of the games from your childhood. Not only are these game a lot of fun but they can also be an excellent way to get to know each other better. Playing games that require you to use your creative side instead of just relying on luck give you a chance to really show your date who you are.

Dating on a budget is not impossible and it doesn’t have to be boring. Often some of the most inexpensive date ideas are also some of the best ways to really get to know your date. The relaxed atmosphere that these date ideas provide allows a couple to be themselves and enjoy their time together.

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Speed Dating Tips

Speed dating was introduced by Rabbi Yaacov Deyo in the 1990s. He originally invented speed dating as a way for young, Jewish singles to meet other singles. Since the advent of speed dating, it has become increasingly popular throughout the United States as well as many other countries and in many major cities there are nightclubs hosting speed dating nights. The basic format of speed dating is to invite an equal number of men and women to a location and set up a system where each man has 5-10 minutes to speak to each woman. Generally the women will be seated at a table for two and the men are given one table to start at and have a predetermined amount of time to get to know the woman at this table and determine whether or not they are compatible. After the time limit the woman stay where they are seated and the men move to the next table. This process continues until each of the couples has had their date. At the conclusion of each date, you check off whether or not you are interested in meeting with this person further and at the conclusion of the night, if your date was also interested in meeting you, the event organizers provide you with the contact information for your matches. Speed dating can be a lot of fun but it does move quickly and it’s best to go into your first speed dating experience prepared.

Since speed dating allows you a very limited amount of time to get to know each date making a good first impression is critical. Looks may not be everything but when you are being judged on such a short amount of time looking your best won’t hurt. Take care in your appearance on the night of the speed dating event and be sure to smile. A sloppy appearance may result in your date mentally rejecting you before the date even starts and not putting much effort into their answers to your questions or to trying to get to know you. A polished appearance on the night of your speed dates will ensure that you make an excellent first impression and ensure that your dates are eager to get to know you better.

Going into a speed dating situation prepared is also very important. Again your time is limited so now is not the time to engage in a lot of mindless small talk. Take the opportunity to ask engaging, open-ended questions that will really help to determine whether or not you have met a potential match. Also, use this opportunity to ask questions that you know would be sure to eliminate a potential match. For example if you are not interested in dating a smoker, be sure to ask whether or not your date smokes. Knowing what you want to ask ahead of time will ensure that you are asking your dates relevant questions.

Punctuality is also very important to speed dating. You would never want to be late for any date because it’s impolite to keep your date waiting but in speed dating it could really cost you. Since speed dating moves quickly, you may arrive late to find that your spot has been given away or that you have missed one or more of your dates. Be sure to arrive on time for your speed dates to ensure you don’t miss any opportunities.

Speed dating is all about having a good time but it’s also about finding potential matches so while you are on your dates, answer questions honestly and be yourself. The more honest you are during the dates the more likely you are to find a well suited match. Giving answers just because you think they are what your date wants to hear could result in the matches you find not really being your type. While they might be fun to date for awhile, they probably won’t be a good long term match for you.

Once you have made a few potential matches, do not wait too long after your speed dates to contact those matches. Both you and your dates may have made several matches that night and it may be difficult to remember much detail about each date. The sooner you contact them the more likely it is that both of you will remember the details of your date.

Exercising caution is another important tip for speed dating. While your contact information is only given out if both you and your date indicate that you are a match, first impressions can sometimes be wrong so be careful with those you choose to make contact with after the speed date. Try setting up future dates in well populated, public places so that you will not be exposing yourself to unnecessary danger.

Speed dating is becoming an increasingly popular way to meet potential matches. It can be a very fun experience and following the tips provided above will help to allow you to have a good time, meet a wonderful partner and remain safe.

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Separating Love From Lust

Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines love as, “strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties,” and defines lust as, “an intense longing”. These two conflicting definitions help to separate love from lust. By definition alone the two differ in that, love is based on an affinity while lust is based solely on desire. The two also differ in how they affect a relationship but sometimes it becomes difficult to separate the two because lust can exist in the presence of love. Analyzing a loving relationship and a lustful relationship separately will help us to learn to distinguish love from lost.

Love has a positive affect on a relationship because when love exists in a relationship both partners hold the happiness of the other in a high esteem and place the happiness of their partner ahead of their own desires. Love affects relationships in a myriad of ways including how the couple interacts, the leisure activities they participate in and the longevity of the relationship. In a loving relationship the couple behaves thoughtfully towards each other and is mindful of their partner’s feelings. In this type of relationship, each partner places themselves ahead of their partner and they strive to treat each other lovingly and with respect. Also, in a loving relationship the leisure activities that the couple participates in are based on a mutual love and respect. Activities are chosen with careful consideration to the partner’s feelings. In a loving relationship the partners typically engage in activities that they either either strongly agree on or those that are a compromise. While a couple in a loving relationship may not always be in complete agreement regarding leisure activities, they strive to compromise to ensure that both partners have the opportunity to engage in their preferred activities. Finally a relationship that is based on love is usually long lasting. The presence of love in the relationship enables a couple to work through any problems or difficulties that arise in the relationship and helps the relationship to endure. The thoughtfulness and caring that exists in a loving relationship helps the relationship to grown and endure.

Conversely a lustful relationship may not necessary have a negative affect on a relationship but it also may not be as positive as a loving relationship. Similarly to love, lust also affects a relationship in regard to how the couple interacts, the activities the couple participate in and the durability of the relationship. The primary difference between a lustful and a loving relationship is that while in a loving relationship the partners place a high value on the happiness of their partner, a lustful relationship is one in which the partners are consumed by their own desires. The partners in a lustful relationship place their needs and wants ahead of their partner’s desires. This alone is enough to make their partner feel disrespected and to not place a high value on the relationship. The fundamental selfishness that exists in a lustful relationship trickles down and affects the activities in which the couple participates. While those in a loving relationship strive to compromise and find activities that they both enjoy, those in a lustful relationship are more prone to insist on participating in activities that they enjoy regardless of whether or not their partner will also enjoy this activity. One final characteristic of a lustful relationship is that it is typically short lived. A lustful relationship is driven by passion and desire and once a goal is reached the partner becomes no longer desirable. With nothing else to drive the relationship it soon begins to wane and the couple often separates. Lustful relationships are characterized by a selfishness and lack of respect that typically results in a short and tumultuous relationship.

Complicating the issue of separating love and lust is that it is often possible for lust to exist within a loving relationship. The existence of lust within a loving relationship is often driven by a desire to become closer to the partner. This is a natural occurrence as a physical relationship is extremely important in a romantic relationship. When lust exists within a loving relationship it is not necessarily detrimental to the relationship. As long as the lust does not take over the love and become the dominant characteristic it can be a healthy part of the relationship. The opposite is not true, however. A lustful relationship can not also include love. The primary characteristic of selfishness does not enable love to factor into a lustful relationship. Placing your own desires ahead of your partner’s precludes the formation of a loving bond. While it’s not possible to have a lustful relationship with the existence of love a little bit of lust mixed into a loving relationship can lead to a closer connection and stronger bond for the couple.

Separating love from lust can be complicated but the key factors to remember is that a loving relationship is one based on selflessness and thoughtfulness while a lustful relationship is characterized by selfishness and thoughtlessness. These fundamental differences often affect whether or not a relationship will be long lasting and will endure the test of time. The separation of love from lust is further complicated by the fact that lust can exist in a loving relationship. The opposite, however, is not possible. Understand that lust can factor into a loving relationship and have a positive affect on the relationship is key to understanding the differences between love and lust.

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Safe Sex Tips

Practicing safe sex greatly reduces the risk of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. While no methods of safe sex, with the exception of abstinence, are 100% effective if you do engage it sexual activity, it is better to use protection because doing so is definitely much safer than not using any form of protection. While various forms of protection are not foolproof, using them will greatly reduce your risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease or an unwanted pregnancy. While there are a multitude of safe sex methods available this article will outline only a fraction of these methods including, abstinence and monogamy, both male and female condoms, and oral contraception.

The only truly safe method of preventing both pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases is abstinence. This is the only safe sex method that is 100% effective against both pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease. While abstinence may be a completely foolproof safe sex method, it is also not the chosen safe sex method for very many people. If you are unwilling to engage in abstinence as a safe sex method, it is highly recommended that you at least only engage in sexual activities with a monogamous partner. Monogamy means that neither you nor your partner are engaging in sexual activity with anyone else besides each other. Monogamy is not an effective method of birth control but it is effective at preventing sexually transmitted diseases. As long as you and your partner are free of diseases, you will remain that way for at least as long as you remain monogamous. Abstinence and monogamy are both highly effective safe sex methods. Abstinence is effective at preventing both pregnancy and diseases while monogamy helps to prevent diseases only.

In terms of avoiding sexually transmitted diseases, the condom is one the only truly effective methods available. If used properly condoms can be very effective in preventing not only sexually transmitted diseases but also unwanted pregnancies. Male condoms are relatively inexpensive and are readily available in drug stores, grocery stores and even vending machines. Condoms are also available in both male and female versions. The male condom is the one most often used. The male condom is a thin sheath, usually made of latex that fits over the penis and acts as a barrier to the exchange of bodily fluids during intercourse. If used correctly every time the male condom is 97%-98% effective against preventing pregnancy and is also highly effective in terms of preventing sexually transmitted diseases. Even if they are not used correctly condemns are still 88%-90% effective in terms of preventing pregnancy. While condoms, if used correctly, are highly effective birth control methods as well as sexually transmitted disease deterrents, they are still not 100% reliable and you should understand that you still run the risk of pregnancy or disease even if you are using a condom. The female condom is a polyurethane sheath that lines the entire vagina. The closed end is inserted into the vagina and the open end remains outside the body. The female condom has only been available since the 1990s and its high cost and scarce availability contribute to it not being used widely as a safe sex method. Both male and female condoms are effective methods for both avoiding pregnancy and preventing sexually transmitted diseases.

Use of oral contraception such as birth control pills is highly effective for preventing pregnancy but is not useful in preventing sexually transmitted diseases. Oral contraception is a pill that is taken daily and utilizes hormonal supplements to prevent pregnancy by creating an environment that is not conducive to fertilization. When used correctly the pill is 97%-99 effective in preventing pregnancy but does absolutely nothing to prevent sexually transmitted diseases. There are many side effects to using the pill but most of these side effects are relatively mild. Some side effects include weight changes, nausea, irritability and breast tenderness. Although none of these side effects are severe, fortunately, many of them can also be avoided all together. There are a variety of pills available on the market today and these pills vary in the amount of hormones that they contain. If you are experiencing unwanted side effects with one version of the pill, speak to your doctor about your discomfort and they will probably be able to recommend another brand that will eliminate or diminish these side effects. While oral contraception is easy to use, free of severe side effects and highly effective against preventing pregnancy, it is not at all effective against preventing sexually transmitted diseases and if you are not positive that your partner is free of disease, you should always use another safe sex method to prevent these diseases.

Practicing safe sex can involve taking measures to avoid pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases or both. While abstinence is the only safe sex method that is 100% effective against pregnancy and sexually transmitted there are other highly effective options for preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Monogamy with a disease free partner and condoms can help to prevent sexually transmitted diseases. Condoms along with birth control pills are also effective in terms of preventing pregnancy.

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Money, Sex & Children: How to Avoid Life’s Greatest Battles

Some of life’s greatest battles are over issues such as money, sex and children. While these are issues that elicit passionate responses and feelings, it is possible to deal with these issues without arguing. In fact not only can you avoid battles over these issues, but these issues can also enhance your relationship. Having realistic expectations about these issues can help you to avoid or resolve any conflicts over these issues. Money, sex and children are the source of many problems in a relationship so it’s advisable that you proceed with caution when these subjects arise.

Money can be a tremendous source of tension and disagreements in a relationship. Many couples struggle with financial matters and this perpetual struggle leads to tension in their relationship. One way to alleviate the tensions associated with financial concerns is to make sure both partners are involved in financial matters. If both partners are away of the amount of resources available to them and their monthly expenditures, they will both have a better understanding of where they stand financially. This way if problems arise, neither partner is caught off guard in this situation. It is also important that couples share the financial decision making process especially in regards to large purchases. Sharing in making these decisions will ensure that each partner has the opportunity to voice their opinions or concerns and feels as though they are working as a team with their partner. Conversely, if one partner makes a large purchase without consulting their partner, the relationship may suffer because the partner who was not involved in the decision begins to feel left out and hurt. When a couple shares the financial responsibilities there is less likely to be problems that arise as a result of finances then there are when one of the partners takes sole responsibility for the finances.

Sex can also be a source of trouble in a relationship. Too much sex, not enough sex and sex that is too routine are common complaints in a relationship. Some of these battles may be avoided by scheduling sexual encounters on a regular basis. While it may sound unromantic to do this, the truth is that with work, children and other responsibilities sometimes there just isn’t time for sex unless it is scheduled ahead of time. Scheduling will ensure that the couple engages in physical contact every so often instead of letting this aspect of their relationship take a back seat to other obligations. Boring or routine sex is another common complaint in a relationship. You can keep things interesting by varying your routine every once in awhile and trying new things. You can also avoid problems related to sex in your relationship by discussing your likes and dislikes with your partner and encouraging your partner to be open with you about their likes and dislikes as well. Sex is a healthy and necessary part of a relationship but it can also be a source of conflict in the relationship.

Children are a blessing in a relationship but they can also be a source of many battles in the relationship. The most important issue with children is whether or not a couple is both interested in having children. If only one of the partners desires to have children then introducing children into the relationship can be a recipe for disaster. If you are not both committed to having and raising children then it is best to put off having children until you are both ready to be parents. If children are already a part of the relationship, they can still cause problems. Arguments over disciplinary tactics are very common. The couple may not agree on how to discipline their child and this disagreement can not only be detrimental to the relationship but can also be confusing for the child. To avoid battles over children make sure you and your partner are committed to having children before attempting to conceive and discuss disciplinary tactics and come to an agreement that you will both abide by in dealing with the children.

Money, sex and children are the subjects that couples argue about most often. These volatile subjects can also be a source of great joy when managed correctly but until the couple learns how to do this, they will continue to be explosive issues. The keys to dealing with these issues without starting battles is to tread lightly and not force your opinions, discuss the issues before they arrive and try to make the best of the existing situations without constant complaints.

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Managing the Relationship Matrix

In general a matrix is a table of data containing information in both rows and columns. Specifically a relationship matrix could be one that is used to determine your genealogical relationship to another. However in terms of relationships, the relationship matrix often refers to how compatible you and your partner are in respect to certain issues such as communication, interests, and financial and career. While the partners do not have to agree completely in all or any of these areas, finding a balance is critical to a healthy relationship.

Communication is one of the factors in the relationship matrix. Style of communication can vary from speaking based on emotion and without much thought to your words to speaking based on logic and putting much thought into what you plan to say before you begin speaking. On one hand the speaker who relies on emotion, often speaks from their heart and their words usually reflect their feelings at the moment they are speaking. On the other hand there is a speaker who relies on logic and often spends much time calculating their words before they speak. This speaker rarely reflects their emotions in their words and instead relies on facts to support their argument. While neither style of speaking is right or wrong, conflict may arise in a relationship if the partners are on opposite ends of the spectrum. These problems may arise if the partner who speaks on emotion is frustrated with the lack of emotion and slow speech of the logical speaker and the logical speaker is in turn frustrated by the lack of restraint shown by their partner. The partners can help to manage this part of the relationship matrix by trying to meet somewhere in the middle of the two extremes. The emotional speaker may agree to take some time to step away from their emotions for a few minutes before speaking and the logical speaker may agree to try to speak more freely and without so much restraint in the future.

Interests and hobbies is another aspect of the relationship matrix that can either doom or enhance a relationship. Sharing common interests can be beneficial to a relationship because it fosters closeness and a bond between the partners. They are able to enjoy a common interest or hobby and doing so brings them closer together. If a couple has no common hobbies, this can be detrimental to the relationship because the members of the couple may feel as though their partner is not taking an interest in their activities. While this may sound simple enough, it is important to realize that balancing out this aspect of the relationship matrix is very important. Having too many interests in common can result in one or both of the partners feeling as if they are being smothered while showing no interest in your partner’s activities indicates a lack of caring.

Financial and career aspirations are a tricky part of the relationship matrix that can be a source of much strife in a relationship. There are two extremes for approaching finances and career. On one extreme there is the logical and conservative partner while on the other extreme is the emotional and liberal partner. These two extremes can be a recipe for disaster so it is necessary for this couple to find a sense of balance. While one partner may be a risk taker in terms of their finances and career the other prefers a more conservative route. Such extremes often result in the partners becoming frustrated with each other. This frustration stems from the partners both being uncomfortable with the other’s approach. For example the more liberal partner may be upset that the more conservative partner sticks with an unfulfilling job just because the pay is good while the conservative partner may be frustrated that the liberal partner works at a low pay job just because it is enjoyable. In order to resolve any issues and avoid future conflict, it helps if the partners can come to an agreement that is more to in the middle of the road. Reaching a compromise that is moderate instead of conservative or liberal will ensure that the financial aspect of the relationship matrix is balanced.

The key to managing the relationship matrix is balance. Finding a compromise in regards to crucial issues of the matrix such as communication, interests and finances will result in a much happier and healthier relationship. While complete agreement is not critical to the survival of the relationship, a willingness to make compromises and understand your partner’s positions on the matrix is critical.

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How to Survive Meeting His Parents

You may not be looking forward to meeting your boyfriend’s parents for the first time but this is a crucial moment in your relationship and it’s very important that you make a good first impression. A woman may be apt to introduce her new boyfriend to her parents earlier in a relationship than a man introduces his girlfriend to his parents. This is because women talk more openly about their lives to their parents so they most likely view this meeting as just a chance for three important people in her life to get together and meet. Men, on the other hand, are less likely to talk openly to their parents so to them introducing their girlfriend is a monumental step that indicates that his new girlfriend is serious. While this is a huge step in a relationship, it’s important to remember that his parents are no different than any other people you have met in your lifetime, so just be yourself and you will survive this meeting unscathed.

Since this is such an important step in a relationship, it’s important to realize that your boyfriend’s parents also recognize the significance of this meeting and will be observing you closely during this meeting. However, don’t let this intimidate you as your boyfriend already loves you so there is no real reason for his parents not to feel the same way. Understand that they will be scrutinizing you but also know that being yourself and not putting on any false airs is the best way to survive meeting his parents. If you have been true to yourself thus far in your relationship with your boyfriend then he already approves of your personality and character traits so don’t be afraid to let the real you shine through when meeting his parents. They are most likely similar to him in personality so if he likes you rest assured that they will too as long as you are up front and honest with them.

In meeting your boyfriend’s parents for the first time, it’s important to let him take the lead in discussing the status of the relationship. While the two of you may have already begun discussing marriage or moving in together, he may not be ready to share this information with his parents yet. Don’t make the assumption that he has already discussed your relationship with them and that he is comfortable letting them know what stage your relationship is at and what plans you have the future. Bringing up topics that he is not yet ready to share with his parents can make the situation awkward for everyone involved. Just follow his lead and don’t offer any information about your future plans unless your boyfriend brings up the subject.

Another key to survive meeting his parents is to understand that he is allowed to be critical of them but you are not. Your boyfriend may complain incessantly about his parents but deep inside he knows that he loves them and is just venting about certain things that may bother him. He may leave their house after the meeting complaining about the way his mother asked a lot of nosy questions about your relationship but if you jump in and are critical of his mother he may quickly become defensive. Even if you are just agreeing with what he is saying, he may still be offended by your opinions. Understand that your boyfriend loves his parents and may be bothered by them at times but that it is not acceptable for you to be critical of them. Of course, if they do or say something outright to offend you, it is acceptable to stick up for yourself and let them know their words or actions are unacceptable.

Avoiding controversial issues is also critical to surviving meeting your boyfriend’s parents. Topics that elicit a highly emotional response are never a good idea when meeting someone new for the first time. If you have opposing viewpoints, then things can become heated and uncomfortable very quickly. Even if you feel the same way about the issue, it may lead to the topic dominating the conversation and the four of you not really getting a chance to talk about anything else or really get to know each other. Steering clear of emotionally charged issues when meeting your boyfriend’s parents will keep the meeting calm and help things to go smoothly.

Meeting your boyfriend’s parents is a critical step in a relationship. Wanting to introduce you to his parents lets them know that he considers the relationship to be pretty serious and that he is hoping that you can all get along. While he is not necessarily seeking their approval of you, knowing that you can get along with his parents can be a big step in your relationship. Many men are non-confrontational in their relationships so if it’s clear that you and his parents don’t get along, he may become wary of your relationship because he doesn’t want to end up spending a great deal of time getting the three of you to learn to get along. After all they have been a part of his life for a long time and will continue to be a part of his life so severing ties with you may be easier than doing so with them.

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How to Write a Dating Site Profile

If you have made the decision to join a dating site in an attempt to find a potential match then you are probably already committed to becoming involved in a relationship. You have probably spent a great deal of time researching dating sites and deciding which one is right for you to join. Once you have decided to register with a dating site, the next step is to write and submit your profile to the site. This is very important because a well written profile will enhance your chances of making a connection. If you put care and effort into writing your profile you are more likely to receive a high volume of positive responses then you would if you just threw together a profile without much thought. Your dating site profile should be honest, well written, informative and eye catching. This type of profile will ensure that you get noticed on the dating site and that your profile stands out from all the others.

Before beginning to work on your own dating site profile, take a little time to view some of the profiles already posted. In reviewing these profiles take note of what seems to really stand out to you. If you are impressed with a profile, examine it closely and determine why you find the profile so intriguing and try to convey this same form of intrigue in your own profile without copying anything directly. Trying to incorporate methods that you found interesting in the profiles of other members will result in your profile generating interest as well. Also, if the dating site you have joined has a rating system for profiles or a log of how many times a profile has been viewed give careful consideration to profiles that are viewed frequently or have high ratings. Understanding what makes these profiles so popular will help you to write an eye catching profile for yourself. The first step to writing a successful dating site profile is to research the existing profiles of other members and figure out what works and does not work about them.

Once you have done your initial research of other profiles, it’s time to begin working on your own profile. Most dating sites offer a template for providing your profile. Before you are ready to start entering information, print out the template so that you can work on your profile away from your computer and give careful thought to your answers. Once you have created a rough draft of your profile, put it aside for a day or two and then take a look at it again and make sure everything still makes sense and that your profiles conveys the intended message. You can even take the opportunity to have a friend review your profile before you post it to the dating site. While you may be in a hurry to get your information posted, the extra time you spend preparing your profile will make your profile appear more polished than most.

Honesty is crucial to writing a successful dating site profile. You may be tempted to write a profile that is bound to attract attention but that is not exactly true but this really won’t help you to find a suitable match. Your false profile may lead to many responses but you are not likely to receive responses from those who share your interests. If you really want to attract responses from those who enjoy the same activities as you then it is important to write an accurate profile of yourself. For example it may impress those reading your profile to hear of your love of the theater, fine dining and the arts but if you are really a person who enjoys hiking and then enjoying a burger at a local diner with posters of Elvis Presley on the wall then you are not likely to find a suitable match by touting your love of the finer things in life.

Posting a picture is also very important to writing a successful dating site profile. While you may be self conscious about your appearance and hesitant to include a picture, neglecting to post one will lead people to assume the worst about your appearance. It will also make your profile not stand out as well as it would if you include a picture. Having a face to associate with the profile makes it more memorable and likely to receive a response. Choose a picture that is an accurate representation of your looks and conveys a sense of who you really are. If you are into glamour and appearance by all means use a photo of yourself where you are looking your most glamorous. There is nothing wrong with that as long as it reflects your true personality. However, if you are more of an outdoorsy and simple type choose a picture that shows your natural beauty. Don’t hesitate to include a picture with your dating site profile because profiles that do not include a photo are easily overlooked.

You can write a truly successful dating site profile. The keys to doing so are to research other successful profiles, put careful thought into writing your profile, answer questions honestly in your profile and include a picture. All of these tips will ensure that your profile stands out from the others on the dating site and that elicits the response you are looking for to your profile.

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