How To Get Over Being Cheated On

By Melody Chase

I have noticed that in many of my articles related to cheating and being cheated on, that the feedback from the readers’ comments are that one of the hardest parts about being cheated on is about the reader wanting to take his/her unfaithful partner back but the reader can’t because he/she just can’t get over what the unfaithful partner has done.

If this sounds like you, you probably already know that the reality is there are no easy solutions, but the following are three suggestions that may help you in your healing process:

1) Talk To Someone Who Knows How To Listen and Empathize With Your Feelings and What You Have Gone Through:

You have your friends who rally around you calling your unfaithful partner every negative name they can think of, you have your friends who will take you out so you will have fun and you have the friends who will sit silently with you or hug you while your cry (or “hug it out” for the guys) but you also need to find someone (a friend, family member or support counsellor) who can listen, validate and empathize with both your feelings and what you have been through in order to heal unresolved emotions.

It is the unresolved emotions of sadness, loss, resentment and betrayal that will keep you stuck in pain and in an unforgiving state.

2) Give Yourself Permission To Take The Time To Heal

Your unfaithful partner knows you are angry and untrusting right now, but if you are thinking about getting back together with your partner, you can not help but feel some pressure to move forward in your relationship even if your partner isn’t directly pressuring you.

The important thing is to stand your ground and take the time you need to heal and recover. If you get back together with your partner too soon or before you are ready any underlying resentment, anger, feelings of betrayal or loss of trust that hasn’t been healed is going to simmer underneath the surface instead of go away which does nothing but prolong your ability to heal what you have been through.

3) Appreciation Exercise:

If you and your unfaithful partner are thinking about getting back together but you cannot even look your partner in the face let alone in the eyes without re-living all the feelings of betrayal, anger and loss, then I would recommend doing the following Appreciation Exercise.

On a piece of paper write down 10 things that you appreciate about your partner, then read it back to yourself or even to your partner. Read the list often and add more to the list if you can think of anything else that you appreciate about your partner as you go along.

This exercise is designed to remind you of what originally attracted you to or kept you attracted to your partner before he or she cheated. This exercise also helps to impress you with positive associations of your partner to help override the negative associations when you see your partner in the present moment.

With the support from family and friends, taking one day at a time as well as following the suggestions above, you will be able to fully embrace your partner with love and trust once again.

If you are looking for more suggestions on how to heal, repair and rebuild your relationship, we encourage you to look into our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Home Study Program at www.counsellorinabox.com where we provide you with real-life, practical, proven solutions, support and resources to help you save your relationship.