The Love By Design Book Ezine

Tips, Idea, Insights and Strategies To Help You Find and Keep Your Companion for Life!

Sunday, May 14, 2006

TOP 5 Qualities of Men or Women That People REALLY Adore!

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There are many articles available today about what are the perfect attributes to have in order for a man or a woman to adore you or be attracted to you. The following is our Top Five List of qualities or attributes that, if you or your partner have, will guarantee you to have a healthy, balanced relationship as well as being an attractive person both inside and out.

1) BALANCED: Balanced can mean many things. For the purposes of our article, we mean that you and your partner have a good sense of boundaries, and that you and your partner are a whole person and have a healthy lifestyle.

More specifically, you and your partner know how to maintain their own boundaries and respect the boundaries of their partner. They understand the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness.

It is important that you or your partner considers themself already a whole person; that you or your partner doesn’t need someone to fill themselves up or complete them in order to be a complete person. They need to have the belief system that a partner is there to enhance and support their natural, authentic expression, but is not needed to complete who they are.

A healthy balance in their lifestyle is also important, such as not working themselves too much, drinking or eating too much, or doing anything in excess.

2) CONFIDENT: You or your partner are self-confident and have high self‑esteem. You are confident that you can handle new things, even if you have never done it before, or if you may not get it right the first time around. You or your partner has an internal point of reference; you do not need to have reassurance and compliments from others to be confident. At the same time, you are confident enough to accept compliments or criticism, and are not afraid to give compliments to other people.

3) INDEPENDENT: You can be a functional person without relying on another person and you are not codependent.

Codependency is a condition that results from dysfunctional patterns based on unhealthy relationships. These dysfunctional patterns are socially learned patterns of thinking, feeling and acting which result in dependency on other people, places, organizations, things and events to create approval, appreciation, self-worth and love to achieve a sense of safety, self-esteem, purpose and identity.

4) RELATIONSHIP MASTERY SKILLS: You or your partner knows how to relate in a relationship. You or your partner know important skills like communication skills, conflict resolution and negotiation techniques.

5) EMOTIONAL OPENNESS: You and your partner are able to be emotionally open and honest, being able to express your opinions and be comfortable enough to allow and support your partner’s emotional openness as well.

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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Can You Imagine Yourselves Spending Blissful Days Together?

Are you in a long-term relationship but wondering if you're ready or not to get married? If you can ask yourself a few questions and come up with the right answers, you're probably ready. So, when considering your significant other:

Do they make you happy?

We're not talking about "this is good pasta" happy or even "this is the happiest moment of my life" sort of happy. Even with the ideal mate you're not going to be happy every minute of every day. In fact, you'll still have some terrible, crappy days. But, does this person make you happy on the whole? Is being with them more enjoyable than being without them? If the answer is no, then you need to spend some time working on your relationship (or even finding a new one) before you settle down.

Are you still tempted?

If you're out at a club or at a dinner party, do you find yourself ever checking out the other hotties in the room? If you do, that's fine. In fact, everybody looks around once in awhile. But if you're ready to settle down you should still want to go home with your significant other, every single night. After all, after you get married you'll be able to look at the menu every night, but you'll still be ordering the same thing.

Can you get old with this person?

Can you see yourself sitting on a park bench with your significant other in forty years? Can you see yourself having children? Grandchildren? If you decide to get married you'll be in the relationship for the long haul. If the thoughts of getting old and gray with this person freak you out, then it may be worth it to give the relationship a little more time to grow before considering marriage.

Can you stand to be around this person all the time?

Think about it, if you were locked in the same room with your significant other, how would things go? At the end of the week would you be at each other's throats, yelling from the corners of the room and ready to get out of there at any cost?

Or would you be happier and more in love than ever? What if you were stranded on a desert island for a year, then what?

Would rescuers find a happy couple or a survivor and a body? If you can imagine yourselves spending blissful days together for years on end, then marriage may be just over the horizon.
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