Relationship Advice: 7 Tips on How To Win Your Partner Back

For anyone who has been focusing on how to get their fiancé back or to get back with their lover or partner can probably relate to the song called “Nothing Compares To You” by Sinead O’Connor.

The song really captures the intensity of the despair, the longing, the loneliness and desire to be given that second chance.

There are many e-books and programs that describe what is needed to get your partner or lover back which revolves around detachment, appearing like you have carried on, working on self-love and studying everything one needs to know in order to rebuild a brand new relationship with their partner once their partner returns.

A lot of the focus in getting your partner back revolves around giving the partner who has left space so as to not apply pressure or push their partner away and to create desire and appreciation since absence makes the heart grow fonder especially when there is some contact and they are met with a strong, independent, desirable and positive person.

However, as in the song “Nothing Compares to You” the intensity of the love, the shock to one’s system, the drive to have a second chance, the fear of losing their partner or running out of time creates the need to want to control, plead, convince and see their partner all the time.

So the following are suggestions on how to maintain detachment and resist the urge to push your partner further away.

1) Have Fun:

In the Sinead O’Connor song there is a line that goes “I went to the Doctor and guess what he told me? He said “Girl you got to have fun no matter what you do because he’s a fool”

Anyone going through an abandonment by their partner can vouch that this is way easier said then done, however, especially when the time a part often feels like physical torture and since you are spacing out half the time anyway, having fun is still the easiest way to keep your energy, spirits and vibration up and keeps you grounded in the moment as well as provides tension relief, renewal and sense of purpose.

2) Every Minute Not Together = A Minute Invested Into Your Future Together:

Even minute of you day seems so drawn out that you almost want to panic because of all the missed time apart yet it’s important to remember that it took time for your relationship to get to point that it came to when the separation occurred so it is going to take some time in order for the relationship and both of you as individuals to heal as well as time for the resolution of the old to take place in order to create anew. Ever moment away from each others also allows the time needed for appreciation, gratitude and remembrance of your awesomeness, love and beauty to kick in within your partner.

3) Don’t Resist The Down Moments:

Down moments often consist of withdrawal symptoms, physical discomfort, bouts of panic, depression, disconnection, shock, flashbacks of both good and bad moments and it’s all okay. It’s okay to be vulnerable, open and honest with yourself, your feelings and emotions - it is the best way to heal as well as position yourself into preference and detachment because you are not holding back and being in resistance to your emotions and fears.

4) When You Can - Confront Your Fears Head On:

A lot of the resistance, panic, impatience and urge to want to start controlling or pleading with your partner is coming from fear so the healthy thing to do for yourself and your relationship when you are ready is to face your greatest fear and walk through and feel what is like to never get your partner back. You will discover you will live through this and then you have all your power back and have naturally gone into a state of preference and detachment because you are no longer in fear because you walked right through it and survived.

5) Go Easy On Yourself If You Fall-Off The Preference and Detachment Bandwagon:

Panic, be sad, get angry then go back into Preference and Detachment – it’s simply that easy. You need all the energy you can get so just let things go when you fall off the Preference and Detachment Bandwagon and remember there is always the chance to get right back on.

6) Keep An Eye On Your Thoughts and What You Say and What You Are Focusing Your Attention on:

We are human and sometimes we need to face the “negative thoughts” for healing and focus on walking through the fear – but otherwise there is no need to scare yourself. Make a choice to choose positive thoughts – no one cares if your are vulnerable or lose – but for your own peace of mind if you are going to go for it might as well go all out 100% and take the leap of faith and take-out the “stinking thinking” and negative thoughts when you can.

7) The Greatest Gift Is Surrender:

Embrace Surrender instead of fear it, once again you have nothing to lose except the opportunity to play all out 100% and surrendering ironically is your trump card and allows faith and your intention to do its job and awesome magic.

Keep these suggestions in mind and before you know it, your partner will be at your door and everything that you are experiencing now will be just a distant memory.

Warm Regards,

Melody Chase

For more information on rebuilding your relationship or getting your lover or partner back Check-out our Counsellor in a Box Home Study Relationship Program @ http://www.counsellorinabox.com as well as our Free Relationship Advice and Relationship Video Tutorial Blog @ http://counsellorinabox.com/FreeVideos.html

Is Your Partner A Male Diva? 7 Ways To Give Your Expressive Husband or Boyfriend What He Wants In The Way He Wants It – Part 1

It’s hard out there for an Expressive Male sometimes. An Expressive Personality Type is one of 4 main types of personalities that we use at our LMC Relationship Centre.

The following is just a brief explanation of the Expressive Personality Type, for an extensive understanding of Expressives or to learn about the rest of the personality types, check out our Counsellor in a Box Home Study Program at http://www.counsellorinabox.com/

In a nutshell Expressive Personality Type People are emotionally based, love people, are dominant and friendly, love appreciation, approval, centre stage, are charming, humorous, fun, have excellent people skills and change their minds a lot

Every personality type has top values that they live by and that are requirements for them to feel happy, fulfilled and loved.

For an Expressive personality his/her top values are freedom, fun and to be loved for whom he/she is.

High Expressives or Pure Expressive people who are not combined with any of the other personality types may often come across as “Divas” especially to people who do not understand them and/or to people who are not giving Expressives what they want in the way that they want it.

Society as a whole know how to deal with Female Expressives because it is more common for women to be emotionally expressive and they are often allowed to be doted on and treated like a princess or a diva.

But what do you do if you are a Male Expressive? What do you do when the majority of society expects the male in the relationship to be the stable, logical, “strong as a rock partner” instead of the fun-loving, freedom and attention seeking, wearing their heart on their sleeve puppy dog Expressive Male?

Sure many people out there are seeking a more balanced male blend of both female and male qualities in a male partner, but the reality is Male Expressives were designed to be “Divas” with an entourage - surrounded by people who love and take care of them.

Powerstruggles often occur between the Male Expressive and his female partner and a shutdown of emotions caused by the anger, frustration, disappointment, and resentment, even depression on the part of the Male Expressive’s partner often occurs because the female partner’s vision of her Expressive male partner isn’t measuring up to her expectations of what “a traditional male partner” is suppose to be like.

The female partner may also have an unhappy, tantrum prone and often depressed Expressive Male partner on her hands who is reacting to not getting his needs met from her.

Chances are the Male Expressive is not getting his needs met because the female partner doesn’t understand him or doesn’t want to give him what he wants if she did know because she has no energy left because she is not getting her needs met from all the powerstruggles, deficiencies and toxicities going on in the relationship.

The solution, as we say at our LMC Relationship Centre is that any successful relationship is all about a mutual fulfilling of needs and giving your partner what he/she wants in the way he/she wants it.

If a mutual fulfilling of needs is not happening in your relationship, someone has the get the ball rolling or else the relationship will continue being nothing but powerstruggles and frustrated desires.

For this article, let’s explain how to give your Expressive Male want he wants in the way he wants it first, he is actually quite easy to please when you key in on how to do so.

This way, when at least one partner is getting their needs met it highly increases the process of negotiation and learning how to work with each other’s incompatibilities, because one partner will no longer be fighting tooth and nail for what they want and will be open to helping the other partner because they will be relieved and appreciate finally getting some of their needs met in the relationship.

Due to the length of this topic, I’ve decided to make this article into a 7 part series, so for today, here is way #1):

1) I’m So Happy/ You Are My Hero: Males in a relationship want to be the hero and want to make their partner happy.

Expressive Males especially need to feel this order to feel good about themselves and to feel loved by their partner.

This is because often the Male Expressive does not get complimented for doing things that other “traditional males do” because they do not normally do those things or those things do not come naturally to them, so it is more of a struggle for them where as it is something that is second nature or taken for granted by “a traditional male”. This can lead to low self-esteem and low self-worth.

So even if you are the female and wear the pants in the household, it is still important to make your Expressive Male partner feel like he is doing all he can do for you (even if he doesn’t in your opinion).

So if saying something like “You are my hero” is too cheesy for you, try something like “I’m so happy that you took out the garbage (even if he missed half the garbage in the house).

Since I am a little bit Expressive myself, I thought I would have fun and not tell you what Part Two will be in about – it’s a surprise and you will just have to come back in a week or two for our next post to find out what it is.

Wishing You Fun, Freedom and Love,

Melody Chase

Are you in a committed relationship and are looking for communication tools so you can have that happy and harmonious relationship you have always envisioned? Check out our Counsellor in a Box Relationship Home Study Program at http://www.counsellorinabox.com/